I'm in a relationship and I just found out today that I tested positive for chlamydia and I immediately (same day) went in for treatment. I told my partner about it so he could get tested and treated too. He didn't take the news well at all and I think he's going to end it. It seems as though its all my fault because there's no way he had it first. Although I haven't been with anyone else while I've been with him, he sees it as a betrayal. I know I should have been tested before, but I made a mistake. Now I feel guilty and dirty.

Is there anyone I can talk to about this who has experienced the same situation? I'd really appreciate it.

Hi sasa,

I hope someone with an experience similar to yours will post. It's often hard to tell how long someone might have had chlamydia before being diagnosed, or which partner had the infection first.

Chlamydia is really common (probably close to 3 million cases a year in the U.S.). Most women (along with a number of men) don't have symptoms and are unaware they have the infection.

I'm sorry this is so difficult. The emotional part is often the hardest, but believe me when I say this does NOT mean you're dirty, or anything at all like that. STDs are so very common, virtually everyone encounters one or more in their lifetimes. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Having an STD pretty much just means, well, that you're human!

Best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Sasa,

I can completely understand how you are feeling. I only wish I were a member of this site when you posted. I went through serious depression for about a year and a half after being diagnosed because my partner denied any responsibility in the matter. It was completely my fault in his eyes, and for many months I beat myself up thinking maybe it was, made worse when he left.

The facts are, it isn't even a question of blame because FACT 1: the doctors explained that you could have it for weeks, months and never even know until that yearly PAP because many people are asymptomatic. FACT 2, if your partner is unwilling to discuss the matter in a mature fashion, then chances are your relationship was fated to end anyways because a relationship without open communication is bound to fail. FACT 3. As the moderator stated, we are all human. The best way to cope is seek out support among friends or those of us who have faced this same reality. By doing so, you will be able to not only gain your confidence back, but you will also be helping to reinsure their confidence.

DO NOT do what I did and close yourself off to the world feeling like you've done something wrong. YOU my friend, are not alone. I not only had a partner who blamed it on me but my doctor of 8 years turned* on me as well, making such statements as "that's what you get for unsafe sex practices" (even though I was engaged to my bf and together for 2+ yrs). My doctor, whom I confided in for so long suddenly was not friendly or sympathetic anymore, and believe me, I understand the sting that can cause. It took me 3 years to even go to another doctor for fear of how I'd be treated

You must forgive yourself (if you feel you need to do such a thing), and then move on. Keep your head up and be thankful it was curable and not something more serious. As for your partner, remind yourself that if you are not worth his time and consideration than you are far better off without him if he ends it. Always remind yourself that you're not the only one out there who has gone through this and just take measures to be more careful in the future. After all, that's all any of us can really do

Thanks for posting, helperxp. I appreciate hearing your story. Please contribute anytime you can.

Best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Thx Fredo,

I love sharing my story, not only does it help others who are dealing with stress and depression, but it also gives me a reason to turn my situations into confident knowledge (instead of the old me who beat myself up). In life, you learn everyday to take what has happened and what you learn and turn it into a way to teach others or to express sincere warnings so to speak. For anyone reading this, believe me it isn't easy to take that approach at first, but knowledge is always the key to moving forward, which I learned while in college.

For instance, I didn't even think I COULD go to college cause I didn't think I was smart enough. There was 6 years between my highschool graduation and the day i started college. After having my son and going thru a wretched divorce I MADE myself go for a better future for my son and I, and in about the 2nd year viola! I started realizing that I could be anything I wanted as long as I put my mind to it.

The same applies to the stories within this forum index. Leanr about it, make yourself feel safer by gaining the knowledge, protect yourself with support of those who will listen, and make yourself feel like a human being again by putting yourself in that authority position and "teaching" others. It is by far the most rewarding thing you can do, and you'll be proud of yourself if you help even one person. Sure it's a self-gratification thing, but who doesn't appreciate themselves at some point

Hi there

I am new to this and I certainly hope someone can give me a little info about this.
I am a single mom and have been seperated for four years from my husband...I was single and enjoyed it for awhile but always protecting myself. Then I found who I thought to be the man of my dreams, we dated for two and a half years when I found out he had been messing around on me. I immediately got rid of him and made an appointment to see the doctor for a pap test. The results were not what I wanted to hear, I tested positive for chlamydia...I got treated right away but what my question is, is this, The nurse told me not to engage in sex for seven days...but does that mean no sex at all or no unprotected sex!!!!!

I would really appreciate it if someone can let me know the answer to my question....I feel kinda silly but I really would like to know. [/b]

Dear Curiousmom,

Most physicians will advise you that the only way to guarantee safety in sex is to abstain from it altogether. True, protection will "lessen" your chances of contracting anything, but it will never be 100%. Keep in mind Chlamydia is bacterial in nature. Bacteria live in dark warm wet places, therefore your mouth could also harvest the infection should you be of a mind to perform oral sex.

You were most likely asked to abstain from sex (completely) for 7 days in order to allow your treatment to work completely, that is to say, so you will no longer be contagious. Most antibiotics (which is what you receive for treatment) need time to "load" in your system. When we take antibiotics for normal infections we usually get a 7 day supply minimum, and if you'll read over your Rx info sheets that come with the meds, you will see that it is important to take antibiotics near the same time everyday. This is done to KEEP the antibiotic levels in your system constant, making it impossible for the infection to reproduce and progress, thus killing it.

If in doubt, you can always call your doctor and ask him to be more specific so you are no longer troubled by the question at hand. My advice is: it's only 7 days, why chance it? If the nurse said "no sex" then I would be happy to assume that is exactly what she meant.

Dear Helperxp

Thank you so much for replying so quickly. Maybe it is common sense but I was just was not sure. I thought maybe if I asked someone who has been there before...it wouldnt be so embarassing!!! Thank you so much once again. I appreciate your time in answering my post. Take care.

Curiousmom

You're most welcome curiousmom There are no stupid questions hun, but i totally know what you mean about being embarassed. Is very hard to talk about private things such as these...THANK GOD for the annonymous face the internet gives us huh? hehe. I am always happy to help and I am glad it put you at ease Take care!

umm so i'm kind of new onto this site, and just a few days ago i got a positive test result for chlamydia. My doctor said after i tell my boyfriend and he gets tested and/or treated for it, i have to wait three months to have sex. I know this sounds really silly, but i would rather not wait three monts to do anything with him. Does this mean i really can't do oral or protected sex with him for three months, does this mean i can't even kiss him because i heard the bacteria can live in your mouth too. i'm a very physical person, i don't think i could deal with only emotions for three months, i would go insane. Please help, i know it's weird for me to ask that.

I'm not sure why your doctor recommends waiting three months after treatment before resuming sexual activity with your boyfriend, so you'll have to ask him or her if you want a specific reason.

CDC suggests waiting at least a week after treatment, BUT they also say this in their treatment guidelines:

A high prevalence of [chlamydia] infection is observed in women who were treated for chlamydial infection in the preceding several months. The majority of posttreatment infections result from reinfection, frequently occurring because the patient’s sex partners were not treated or because the patient resumed sex with a new partner infected with [chlamydia].

So, maybe it's a case of better safe than sorry!

CDC 2006 STD Treatment Guidelines - Chlamydia:
http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2006/urethritis-and-cervicitis.htm#uc4

Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

thanks for the advice. i have another question. If my boyfriend had chlamydia before we got treated. and i gave him head. would that make it go in my mouth? and would the treatment work for both oral and vaginal chlamydia? i know it's a weird question

Hi everyone,

I'm new here.

Sorry it's taken so long to answer your post We got majorly spammed recently and it's taking up our time so that we are missing posts unfortunately.


Yes, the treatment is effective for both oral and genital chlamydia.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Hi...

My sympathies...I too suffered a lot of partner troubles after being diagnosed. That's partly what is motivating me to write about this topic in a weekly paper out in California -- to help people avoid what I went through, and to give them good advice on surviving the aftermath, if it comes to that.

I'm a journalist, and would like to talk to you (anonymously) about this subject for a paper in California called the Ventura County Reporter...please give me a shout at kitstolz@yahoo.com

Thank you in advance for your consideration.
kit