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National Cervical Cancer Coalition

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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 1:09 pm 
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This Q&A was originally posted in ASHA's Ask the Expert's forum at ... nships.cfm

I am a gay man, and I feel trapped in an abusive relationship with another man. I don’t feel like I can talk to my friends at all, and I am afraid to report my partner. What should I do?

People of any gender or any sexual orientation can be abusers or victims of abuse; however, most support for victims of abuse is aimed toward women in abusive heterosexual relationships. Finding help if you are in a physically, sexually or emotionally abusive same-sex relationship can be especially difficult because getting help often involves “coming out” twice—about both your same-sex relationship and the abuse itself. Fortunately a number of individuals and organizations provide support to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals in crisis.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

If you are not in immediate danger, seek out an LGBTQ-friendly advocate or organization who can help you make a plan to get and stay safe. Therapists, counselors, social workers, attorneys, church pastors, hotline volunteers, and physicians are examples of people who can make effective advocates.

The Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project provides information and services to help you find safety and support. Call their hotline at 800-832-1901, or visit their website. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs: National Advocacy for LGBT Communities is another resource.

Other LGBTQ-Friendly Resources:

* The GLBT National Resource Database can help you find GLBT-friendly individuals and organizations, including Community Centers, crisis services, health care providers, hotlines, legal services, religious organizations, support services, and other professional services.
* For peer counseling and referrals to LGBT-friendly businesses (including lawyers, doctors and various counseling professionals) call the GLBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4565.
* Find a physician or therapist at the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association’s referral page.
* Find a therapist or counselor at the Association for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Issues in Counseling.
* Find LGBT-friendly churches at

-- Amy Stapleford, M.Ed.

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