Hi all,

I got the call last week positive for HPV. I'm 19 and was sure nothing like this could ever happen to a girl like me... I mean I wasn't sleeping around. So the problem is I feel ashamed, not attracted, and the thought of sex disgust me now... Which is a problem for my husband... So I want to know how others adjusted to the thought of it... thank you for listening!

Hello tbrew,

Thanks for joining our message boards. The emotional and relationship aspects of HPV diagnosis are over overlooked, but we know for many these are the hardest parts of all to cope with. It's important to "normalize" HPV infection - it is NOT a reflection on you or your character. Genital HPV is a common infection, so much so that MOST sexually active people are estimated to have it at some point (although the majority never know!). Having genital HPV, increasingly, is part of being a normal sexually active individual and over time, the immune system seems able to suppress the virus in most cases (but women still need regular Pap tests).

We have a relationship section on our Web site that doesn't address all of your concerns directly, but is still worth a look: http://www.ashastd.org/hpv/hpv_learn_relationships.cfm.

Hopefully some others will chime in with their thoughts.

All the best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Hello, Let me give you some motherly advice. Sometimes bad things just happen to good people. YOU did nothing wrong, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Just because you have HPV does not make you a terrible person.

Someone can do everything right and something can still go wrong.

My daughter waited for someone she loved deeply. He went and was tested for every kind of STD (including herpes). They used a condom every single time. She only had sex with him for 3 months.
6 months after having sex for the first time, she has cell changes.

She has since called her "friend" and he is being very supportive.
He did love her and still does. He feels terrible guilt about this. He would never have hurt or made her sick.

He has told her that he will be there for her through all of this. (She is going for a second opinion about the LEEP procedure that the first doctor recommended)
She will have to redo her pap test and scope/biopsy.


He didn't know he could have such a thing as HPV. He has since remembered that his last girlfriend had a cone biopsy while they were dating. He had asked why and she told him it was not a big deal and not to worry about it.

My daughter is doing fine emotionally. She still has sad days where she wants me to hold her. I guess you're never too old to still want your Momma.
However, I know she will be OK in the future.

Take care of yourself.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.