I am a 49 year old woman in the process of getting divorced and am currently in a wonderful relationship. I was just diagnosed with HPV Warts. I am very concerned about trying to explain this to my boyfriend. I know that I could have gotten this from him or from someone else (including my husband) a long time ago. I just don't know how to tell him without him thinking I've been unfaithful to him. Please help.

Hello Can57,

It could take weeks, months, or even years after exposure for symptoms to appear. Because of this fact, it is usually difficult to determine when, or from whom, the virus was contracted. The fact that one is now showing signs of HPV may simply mean that something (stress, lack of rest, poor diet) has put stress on the immune system, which "awakened" the virus to its now active state.

When one partner has HPV it is most likely that their current partner shares the virus, although this may be impossible to prove, as there are limited HPV testing options in most cases.

A great deal remains unknown about transmission patterns among couples and the guidance (including ours) is often inconsistent and confusing, to say the least. Many couples abstain from sex while warts are present but there are experts who don't think it is likely couples sharing the same HPV type(s) will "ping-pong" the virus back and forth to reinfect each, and we're not aware of any data that indicate this is likely to be an issue. Some studies suggest that using condoms might help both the virus and associated skin lesions clear a bit more quickly, so this is an option some couples consider.

As always, speak with your health care provider to see what they might recomomend for you regarding these matters, along with Pap tests and general STI testing.

I hope this helps.

Best,
Fredo

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