ASHA STI Message Board
It is currently Fri Jul 25, 2014 6:23 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours


 

National Cervical Cancer Coalition


Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: What a JERK!
PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 12:11 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:13 pm
Posts: 8
Location: Kentucky
My boyfriend of seven months knew that he had HPV and he didnt tell me til after we had sex for the first time. So now that I have it. I have been scared that I'm stuck with him for the rest of my life. :( That no one else will want to be with me because they will be scared of catching the virus. I dont understand how there is so much information on the net about this virus but it all says different things. Does the virus clear or not?? I have heard two different things. I have been taking every type of vitamin that it says too that can help rid the virus. Thinking that it will clear faster. Does anyone have any tips on how to get rid of this evil virus???[/b]


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 1:09 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2007 7:48 pm
Posts: 75
Once you get HPV, you've got it. It's in your system. Yes. Your body can fight it off, and you can end up being clear. However, there's always a chance it could come back. The one analogy that I've had people tell me is like you can get a cold and/or flu. Your body will fight it off, and you'll be fine. However, there's always a chance that you will get a cold/flu again. I don't know if that makes any sense for you. I'm probably not explaining it quite right. I'm still learning about this frustrating std myself. Perhaps someone can explain it a bit better then I can. It is confusing. I know. I'm having a heck of a time figuring it all out, too.

I know it can feel like the end of your world but it's not. Trust me. Ask your doctor any questions that may arise. There's always support found in places like here online if you have questions or just need to vent. As for your boyfriend, don't look at it like he's the only one you can ever be with. Don't feel like you have to stay with him just because of HPV. That would be all the wrong reasons to stay with him. I've heard many positive stories from people who've found love after HPV.

Hang in there. I know how it must feel for you, but just take it a day at a time. Learn what you can, and if you have any questions, write them down...print out things...whatever it takes. Then take it to your doctor and/or clinic...whever you're going for care. That way they can help answer any concerns.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:44 pm 

Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:52 am
Posts: 16
Location: Europe
ther d


Last edited by dangermouse on Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:46 pm 

Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:52 am
Posts: 16
Location: Europe
The virus clears - or becomes undetectable and non-contagious - in most people. If I liked you, I'd be prepared to live with the small risk you were not "most people".

Don't forget too that if a guy likes you and is boyfriend-material, he is probably going to be prepared to get the Gardasil vaccine (which will probably be legally licensed for men soon and which some doctors already give to men anyway). That will protect him from the most common strains of HPV, which in all likelihood include the one you've got.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 10:31 pm 

Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:46 pm
Posts: 9
Why are you considering any kind of future with this guy?

The girl who exposed me to HPV did so in a similar manner as the guy who did it to you. When we dated 8 years ago, we never had sex, but we kept in touch over the years and recently we both had gotten out of long-term relationships. She asked me out one night and we ended up having sex twice- then a few days later she told me she might have cervical cancer (a very crafty way of shifting the attention off of the horrible news that I soon found out). This was a girl I trusted and would never expect something like this to come from her. To make things worse she told me how she had been wanting to have sex with me for a long time, which told me that she was willing to get what she wanted without regard for my long-term health and prospects (as opposed to her saying she was drunk and didn't have good judgment)- incredibly f---ed up. I'm waiting for her to get the results of her biopsy in hopes of finding out what strain of HPV she has. Other than that I never want to talk to her again.

I know how you feel. If you are like me then you probably had no idea what HPV was until you were forced to learn. I can't believe that life is over because of the possibility that I may have HPV, I just think that life will be a little harder. Hang in there, there are people like you out there dealing with the same thing. Just don't think you have to settle for a relationship with someone who already proved that you can't trust.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 2:29 am 

Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 11:20 am
Posts: 9
Location: STL MO
never forget, it sounds like you have mixed feelings about hpv. Life isn't over.

The emotional anxiety is very common and natural. However, letting reasoning kick in, wouldn't you rather have this std over the more serious life threatning ones? I mean if you had to have one, wouldn't hpv be the one you would choose.


On a more serious note. If you think your partner isnt right for you, leave him or her. You deserve more than settling. Future partners and much more likely to stay with you if you talk with them about hpv before things go too far.

And just so you know, My GF has it, I do not. I still love her for who she is. Having hpv does not in anyway, reflect an irresponsible life style. You will get through this. Do not give up hope. One day at a time for now. Things will get better...trust me.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 4:28 am 

Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:46 pm
Posts: 9
Hookup....

That is pretty ridiculous. And as for "reasoning", if I had to choose an STD, wouldn't I pick HPV? What kind of question is that??? It's not like I was given a choice.

And as for mixed feelings, I'm sure I made myself clear- it sucks to have or have the possibility of having HPV.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 11:57 am 

Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 11:20 am
Posts: 9
Location: STL MO
Oh sure. but eventually your emotions will get under control. This is a perfectly normal stage. Even I went through it when I found my gf had it. You and I both know that I will end up with it. Love should not step in the way of a few stupid bumps. get real.

Pick and choose. It was stupid, I guess. But if I was given a choice of getting hpv or herpes, aids, or sifillis. Hmm, Id much perfer hpv. Atleast the symtoms disappear and you only have to treat it when symtoms are there. Plus 80% of sexually active people already have it. They live normal lives just fine. Why can't you.

And by the way, the pick and choose does work for some people. You didn't have the choice as 99% of us don't, but more than likely, you did choose to have sex. That was your choice. My girl friend was never given that choice. Imagine saving yourself for 35 years only to get raped and get hpv from her rapist. I told her the CHOICE question and found it to be somewhat helpful. At least it got her realizing some truth.

All in all, you need to deal with your emotions. You have it now, and your stuck with it. It won't ruin your life unless you allow it to. If you have it, your in the normal crowd as 80% of sexually active people do get it.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 1:41 pm 

Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:46 pm
Posts: 9
hookup...

You really don't know what you're saying at this point. Arguing does no good though, so there's really no point to continue this discussion.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 8:07 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 12:19 pm
Posts: 21
I understand the anger here, but if you are sexually active, it is up to you to learn about STDs and any possible consequences of sex.

Sure, she probably should have told, but does she even understand what hpv is?

Each and every time you have sex, there is risk, whether it is emotional or physical. When you have sex, you have to know there might be consequences from that, and STDs are just one of them.

And as has been stated, up to 80% of the population has had or has HPV. It will be very hard to find a partner who hasn't had it.

Jess


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 11:57 pm 

Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:46 pm
Posts: 9
The person who exposed me to HPV not only knew she had it, she was already scheduled for a procedure related to HPV.

Sex is always a risk. That goes without saying. But when you have an STD and don't warn someone in advance, you are knowingly putting someone else in harm's way.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 7:04 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:13 pm
Posts: 8
Location: Kentucky
Hook up... thanks for replying but if I had a choice I wouldnt have anything. I mean the guy that I'm dating could have told me that he had it and let me make the choice on weather or not I was willing to get it instead of not telling me. So I feel like I could have went a while longer without having HPV.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:54 am 

Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 11:20 am
Posts: 9
Location: STL MO
I understand your frustrations, I do. Im sorry if I offended anyone by the choice. The choice idea put it in perspective for me and my girl, but just because it worked for us, it doesnt mean it works for anyone else.

It is irritating that johnny law does nothing to those who remove peoples choices. Allowing people to purposely infect ofthers with bacterias and viruses, both potentually harmful and deadly, and no consciquences remain. For the more serious infections, like hiv, syfillis, and high risk hpv; you would think these people would get charged with murder 1 or 2, assult, or something near that degree. If the person honesty didn't know they were infected, the gov should make a law that if your sexually active, you should be sexually responsible for your self and for the health of mankind. Aware or not, you are responsible. Unfortunately, it would be extremely difficult to show who gave who what. This is especially true in hpv cases cause innicial outbreaks can hold off for days, weeks, months, or even years.


Top
   
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:23 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:13 pm
Posts: 8
Location: Kentucky
hookup. I understand but I do have high risk hpv. And my boyfriend did know he just didnt think I could get it. (or so he says). I think that I found my own way with coping with it. At first I just want to die but now I'm fine. I just hoping that it will clear fast.


Top
   
 
 Post subject: hang in there
PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:03 pm 

Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:29 am
Posts: 3
I'm so sorry that happened to you...it must have really hurt emotionally. The best thing you can do for yourself is to NOT dwell on that memory, it will only bring you pain...and as for him, you deserve someone who would respect and love you enough to confide important information like that. He obviously wasn't concerned of your well being. Don't feel like no one else will want you...I felt that way too, but we're not alone.
Loula :)


Top
   
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 7 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group