Hi, my name is Amanda. I am new here. I was diagnosed about 7 months ago with high-risk HPV. My current boyfriend gave it to me, although he didn’t know that he had it.

I have had the area on my cervix taken out in a surgery that took 20 minutes, which I didn't wake up from for 3-4 hours.

My family has been there for me, after originally yelling at me and blaming Justin. Justin has also been amazing. He is everything I could ever ask for, minus HPV, and we plan on being married in about 2 years.

Sometimes, however, I feel alone in a crowd of people. Recently I have been seeing all of the babies around and thinking that if my HPV comes back then I may not be able to feel a baby in my stomach ever. I dread my OB appointment, even though I could not ask for a better more informative or understanding doctor.

Before HPV I never called about my pap smear results, now I plan out a month in advance those precious minutes where I can be by my self and make that call. I am so afraid of getting cancer and not being able to have the life that I have always imagined.

Justin does not understand why it affects me the way it does. And I need to be able to think positively again. I have had everything in my life set before me on a silver platter. I know that I have a good life and that I do not need to worry about anything in my life. But this depresses me and I cannot shake it.

I have had one Pap smear since my LEEP Cone Biopsy. That came back essentially clear. It tested negative for HPV but positive for abnormal cells. I was on my period when they did the pap so I hope that was the cause of the abnormality.

Another cause for my worries that it feels different when I have sex; I feel more sensitive and it almost hurts with full penetration. I can change positions and fix the problem but it is not very comforting. I also bleed a few drops every time I have sex. I talked to my OB's office and they said it is nothing to worry about.

All in all if there is anyone here who understands what I am going through please let me know. I feel so lost.

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Amanda

Amanda,
I know what your going through. My boyfriend gave me the virus knowing that he had it. He didnt tell me until the day before I had my yearly pap. I was so scared and depressed after I found out. I cried almost every day for about a month. But I have read that the virus is as bad as you let it be.
I had to go for a biopsy in November. I just went for my follow up pap about three weeks ago and I have low grade changes. (What ever that means.) But I know that its hard to be happy when thinking about what your boyfriend did. I still get really upset and I always throw it up in his face. It hurts to know that he could have prevented me from being in this situation. I sometimes think that I don’t want to be with him anymore because of it but then I get scared because what if someone else doesn’t want to be with me because I have HPV.
It’s a really hard situation but like I said its only a big deal if you make it that way. I hope everything works out for you.

Hey, thanks for your reply. Justin actualy did not know that he had HPV when I found out. We figured out etter that his old gf had it. But she has given us nothing but problems. I thank you for your support though. It means the world to me to see that someone feels the same way that I do. But I agree that it is as bad as you make it. I am taking care of my self and even taking vitamins now. I have my next pap in three weeks and I am SO nervous. All I can hope for is the best. Thank you so much.

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Amanda

I know how the exgirlfriend thing goes. My boyfriend not only gave me hpv but he has a baby by another women. She is really freaking crazy and does nothing but causes problems.

Amanda the first thing you need to do is calm down. Honestly, it will help. I've been dealing with HPV since 1997 and the two major flare-ups were preceded by extreme periods of stress.

Start building up your immune system - fruits and vegetables, supplements, etc. The research I've done has indicated a greater need for folic acid, Vitamin A and kelp (iodine).

Fredo will chime in soon and will also tell you that having HPV does not guarantee you'll get cervical cancer. It does make you more susceptible, but taking care of yourself, and calming down, are your best defenses.

Your concerns are understandable, arenee, and it's only natural you're worried about your Pap test results. Cervical cancer is a pretty rare outcome of "high risk" HPV infection and is most often seen in women who have either never had a Pap test, ever, or who had gone 5 or more years without one prior to diagnosis.

Having had abnormal cells detected and treated, and going back for follow up exams as directed, is almost always good enough. Cervical cancer is essentially a preventable disease and it certainly seems you're doing your part in that regard.

Please post anytime you have questions, or just need to talk about something.

All the best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Amanda I understand how you feel. I had a situation very much like yours. I am a newly wed and want nothing more than the package deal (babies white fence and loyal husband). But when I found out I had HPV I was so worried that babies might not happen... That still scares me a little. I've done a lot of research on the topic and know a couple of people who have it and I know you can reach a normal point and children are not out of the question. I know for the first couple of weeks you feel lost and empty, but I hope you find that life will be ok and if you love this guy then be with him because nothing changes love.

~tbrew87