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PostPosted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:58 pm 

Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:46 pm
Posts: 132
Oh, along with the above, I would also think HIV would be a slim thing unless also you've been with partners that were particularly promiscuous or some such. Unlike, say, Africa where it's turned into an epidemic in the United States HIV is more confined to the groups I mentioned, or if maybe someone was with a lot of partners, or perhaps also if it's a person that needs a lot of hospital time and blood work, i.e. someone needing transfusions/liver disease/or something like that.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 1:31 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
Thank you.

You are right there is higher chance of contracting HIV if you have sex with someone who is HIV positive as well as in cases of blood transfusion, sharing needles, or open cuts.

The main thing that's upsetting me is the fact I had warts treated only 1 week prior to the oral sex encounter. As you've mentioned, even if it gets healed in your naked eye, you can have microscopic cuts that's large enough for blood to penetrate. Should I still worry even if neither of us bled?

I tried to ask this girl about the situation but she refused to listen. In fact, she wants me to stop calling her and that makes me more angry. She even said she's going to call police if I contact her again and I am just speechless. I am not worried about police but the fact she's avoiding to give me more info. about her and now I'm worried if she is HIV positive.
I want to find a way to contain her by CDC because she is going to continuously infect other guys and more will suffer. She said she doesn't care she gave herpes to me because I am at fault. She is manipulating the fact she's a female and could use it against men to continuously have sex with different guys and back off.

I am guilty of not pushing her away when she continuously attempted to kiss me after few times. But, it seems totally unacceptable for her to turn the table around me and providing absolutely no information and accuse me of harassing her.

Back to my point, I know chance is slim if I am not in homosexual activity. I know chance is slimmer if I didn't have vaginal or anal sex. On the other hand, I am at higher risk since I don't know exactly how many men she slept with (she said around 20 but I find it hard to believe because she already slept with another guy after me on the same weekend). She had tattoos. She has herpes although it's oral. She performed oral sex even when I was ejaculating (cum). These all potentially lead to my status as higher risk of less than 0.1% but I am deeply concerned since I contracted hpv (1% with GW) and herpes (low chance when no sores presented by a person with hsv-1 positive .)

I feel like I was penalized big and wonder how I can live for three months of window period. I can't literally breathe day by day. All these statistics are low but I've always fell in that low percentage category. Betsy even thought my chance was low to contract hsv-1.

I am sorry for a long, dramatic story and posting it that's not directly related to HPV. Accuracy is 50% after 4 weeks, 80% after 8 weeks, and 95% after 12 weeks for Elisa test so I would rather wait to have accurate test result. I am in hell. Hell..........


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:06 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
I still don't know about the HIV status of this female partner. I wish I can drag her to the clinic.

I did tons of research on HIV and I am extremely worried again.

I had warts treated a week ago before receiving oral sex from a female and had scabs fallen off two days prior to oral sex. It was healed and had no visible open cuts. It didn't bleed after oral sex.

She performed oral sex during ejaculation (cum) in her mouth.

I've learned you can pass HIV virus through semen although there was no bleeding. Is that mean HIV virus could pass through semen or urethra as oral sex recipient if she has HIV?

I searched tons of HIV forums but I couldn't find information about this. Please help if you really know about this.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:21 am 

Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:46 pm
Posts: 132
Wow, that's really rough. I won't pretend to know how that feels, so all I can do is offer a hug and sympathy.

So, the girl you are worried about is the one that gave you HSV? She does sound shady......it is problematic when people have multiple partners because, obviously, there's no way to track all the history of all those partners. Personally, I think that's one reason why I ended up getting HPV from my current boyfriend---he became sexually active when he was 16, and he's 30 now. I can tell he's not the type that would jump into bed with anyone, but I know he's definitely had his share of partners.......and then, well, those partners had partners too, and those partners did also.......and yeah. But he's lucky and never showed any symptoms of HPV.......and what's stupid is that standard STD testing doesn't cover herpes and HPV. So he always thought he was totally clear. Ah well.

As far as if an oral sex giver, with HIV, would be able to transmit the virus to the male recipient, unfortunately I don't know on that one. I can only hazard an opinion, which is that although I know HIV can live in most body fluids I don't know about how strongly present it is in the mouth. In the case that the girl didn't have any tiny cuts in her mouth, like I said, saliva kills HIV. However, one can't be certain about that.

I'm sorry I don't have much other knowledge to offer in regard to HIV, but please do post whatever concerns you have. I'll do the best I can to help lighten your burden if I'm able.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 7:08 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
Thanks.

I was in much better spot when I was herpes free a month ago.
Single mistake eventually led me to concerns about the worst disease you can possibly have. Sure HPV and HSV are "potentially" deadly disease but HIV means DEATH though you can maintain for 10+ years with good care.

I am heading to clinic tomorrow and this is devastating. I fall in every "high risk" category after reading thousands of cases of HIV infection.

Open sore, although healed at the time, is the main concern. Well, her being shady is the main concern actually. She said she's HIV free but I don't even trust that psychopath. Also, ejaculation is another big issue.

There has been 27 cases of HIV infection until recent through oral sex. I have been extremely unlucky with HPV and Herpes but my luck can not be this bad. Please pray for me. Please.

I really want to ____ this girl, seriously. This is all from alcohol consumption losing ability to think properly. I hate myself more than anything. No matter how much I say I had no intension to have sexual encounter with this girl, everyone will agree I am at fault and take the consequence.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:58 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
All I want to say is lack of education (sexual in this case) can screw up your life.

I went to the clinic and she treated genital warts for the fourth time. Also, she examined anus and found some bumps but diagnose that it wasn't warts. She said something about secretion of mucous membrane which are normal. Clinic was about to be closing so I couldn't thoroughly get all the information. I hope this will help Wanda's question about anus warts. You may get warts on anus without any sexual contact in anus. But, you just have to see the doctor.

HIV, sigh . . .

Assuming the partner is staged as potential high risk, clinician said it can happen although chance is very slim simply because it only had been a week since I got warts treated. I really pray this girl didn't give me HIV.
I've been unlucky but I don't want to fall in the percentage of less than one percent.

Thanks for your supports.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:55 pm 

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 2:57 pm
Posts: 32
I was told I had HPV in April....I found out that I have HSV yesterday (still waiting to get the results back from the culture, but looking at the sites, I am sure I have it). I don't know what to do...I was just starting to deal with my HPV. I was using condoms, so I don't know how I got HSV. I contacted everyone I had been with since my last HSV test (which was negative) because it doesn't mean the guy I was currently with gave it to me (he thinks I did get it from someone else because we just had sex almost 2 weeks ago, and I had started noticing painful blisters just a week after). So far, three were just tested along with other stds and their tests came back negative. One guy is sending me his results, the other says the center he went to doesn't give out paper results unless you are positive so he's going to call and see if they can do something for him, and one hasn't texted back yet when I asked if he had a paper. I'm waiting for two more guys to get tested, even though we haven't had sex in years. This current (or past guy now because he is pissed off and doesn't have much to say to me except that I am a dirty whore). I just miss him so much, and he doesn't seem to understand that just as easily as I could be the one who gave it to him, he could have given it to me. He says he never had symptoms....the guy I was with b4 him who tested negative also said he had no symptoms. I seem to be the only lucky one! I am loathing going back to my OB-GYN because she already looks at me funny cuz I have HPV.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 8:51 pm 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
Thanks for sharing your personal story. It means a lot for me to know there is someone else experiencing same problem.

The promiscuous girl I met at school who gave me herpes isn't cooperating at all. She doesn't even feel guilty and probably will continue to spread virus to other guys. All I wanted to know is that if she has hiv, open sore in her mouth, or gum disease because last thing I want is to contract hiv from this girl. She claimed she doesn't have hiv but I find it hard to believe.

Unfortunately, you will probably not know who gave you herpes as more transmissions are found asymptomatically. Your ex buddies may have never developed symptoms although they carry viruses or they can be simply lying. We will never know for sure.

Blisters are common symptoms of HSV but stay positive if you can. It doesn't take many sexual partners to contract such a disease and you don't have to feel dirty. So many people are dealing with hpv and/or herpes and it's not life threatening disease like hiv.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:08 pm 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
Fredo,

Do you honestly think I am over-stressing with hiv? I know my chance is 0.05% for having a sexual contact with a hiv positive person once. I know if she doesn't have hiv, there is absolutely no chance. I know if there was no considerable blood present in her mouth and wart-treated spot was healed (scabs fell off 2 days ago), my chance is low. But despite of my intension, the fact that I ejaculated in her mouth and had scars on genital area, my chance is a lot higher. There has been 27 cases of hiv infection through oral encounter and 1 case through french kissing (they both bled during kissing).

I couldn't find a decent hiv site to discuss so please don't penalize me :(.
I will not put it on as a new post.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:37 pm 

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 2:57 pm
Posts: 32
I don't think you're over-stressing....but that is coming from me, a chronic over-stresser. All you can do is wait! I'm not sure where you live, but some areas do have tests that account for unprotected sex from 3 weeks on back. I go every 3 months, but here where I am from they do the rapid tests, but it's a 3 month window. In NC, they have the other test I was talkin about. I went today as scheduled for my 3 month mark, and it was negative, but I'll be getting the other test in NC when I go back to school. I know waiting is hard, and the people u have been with are VERY uncooperative. They think you are blaming them only and not taking responsibility for the own choice you made when you slept with them....while that may be true, some other people simply can care less how you feel. I am learning that now. The guy I was with b4 the last one basically told me to stop calling him, asking about his test. He was there when I found out I had HPV....I told him I didn't want to infect him, but after months, he decided that he was here for me and he didn't mind about my HPV. He got upset with me 2 months ago over something that wasn't my fault, and we haven't talked until now. He told me that I'm dirty, I'm a whore, that he'd never been so scared after having sex with someone (as if I forced him to do it), and that he was tested and was clean, so to leave him alone. All I could do is cry because I already feel bad because I'm not sure if I gave it to the latest guy or did he give it to me.....I simply didn't know! People don't seem to understand that. I am very understanding, but others aren't. All I can tell you is look out for yourself from now on, and don't worry about her. Just wait until you can get tested, and deal with it from there.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 1:54 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
I can totally understand about people who don't want to cooperate. Dealing with HPV and Herpes on the same year was extremely overwhelming and waiting to be tested for HIV is like a convicted murderer awaiting for a death sentence.

After I've contracted herpes, I've had shortness breath for a day, diarrhea for a day, fatigue, flu-like symptoms, low appetite, headache/dizzy, and so on. More importantly, I think there is increased number of floaters when I look at the sky and blurred vision. These may have to do with spending too much time reading articles about stds online and anxiety. But no one will understand why I am so anxious when my life is on the line. I am probably under "aids phobia" that they call it but I can stop thinking about it every second when I fall under "high-risk" category of contracting hiv.

I don't want to spend rest of my life awaiting to die. Also I can't even share with anyone and shameful to share with my parents. I am still in 20s and this is just extremely harsh to accept the fact because of some girl I met on campus!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:22 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
I wish I don't have to see my clinician because the director at the clinic gives me a dirty look all the time.

If I can turn the clock backwards, I would definitely make a wise decision but it's too late and I am guilty and responsible for my action, possibly death.

There is no clear data that fits my circumstance. All it says:
-higher risk if you ejaculate in female's mouth
-higher risk if a female partner has gum disease or small cuts possibly bleeding
-0.05% of contracting hiv if you are receiving oral sex and 0.1% for giving.
-lower risk if you are heterosexual
-lower risk if you have done it once with a potential hiv positive female

I can not function and each min seems like hours so I try to sleep longer.
Does anyone have a good resource on a hiv or know a forum? I can really use some help.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:17 am 

Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 2:57 pm
Posts: 32
I just googled and this is what I found:
http://www.hivforum.com/
http://www.topix.com/forum/health/hiv-aids
http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Safe ... 93398.html
(this may only for those who are +)

I am in my 20s as well. I was celibate when I transferred to my current school, and I wish I had stayed that way. My problem isn't random guys, it's guys that I have known and been friends with for years, so I automatically trust they have my best interest at heart. Sadly, it seem like std's are more silent than ever before, so some genuinely do not know they have anything. I am a hypochondriac, so I don't understand why I never got tested for HSV after I was first tested in 2006 (it was just folliculitis). I am also a nursing student, so I feel even worse...how can I tell my patients the right things to do if I can't even do them? I felt I should have known more about HSV. I was taught that it wasn't silent, and that a person ALWAYS had symptoms. I feel so stupid.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:10 am 
Site Admin

Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:08 pm
Posts: 2122
Location: North Carolina
Jimmy,

Yes, pal, I think you're over-stressing about HIV! You would only be at risk if someone who gave you oral sex was profusely bleeding around the mouth at the time and they had sufficient viral load to begin with. Even with such a "perfect storm" of risk, there probably ain't much risk at all.

Take a look at this one Q&A on the topic:

http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/insite?page=ask-06-03-16

Or even better, this one, which states the risk of contracting HIV from a positive partner performing oral sex would probably only be an issue with about 1,000 oral sex acts! I'd expire from old age first... :wink:

http://www.aliveandwell.org/html/risk_realities/faq_canoral.html

Fredo

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ASHA Moderator


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:19 pm 

Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 98
I was in exactly same spot as you were. I got into a pretty good school in CA and who would've thought this would ever happen to me. I barely passed finals and I didn't do well as much as I could have. Aokanojo also seemed like she went to a good school in CA. I must confess you shouldn't feel safe just because you are in a good neighborhood. This whole year was devastating and I may have taken my own life away if it wasn't for your supports. I am going to revisit my clinician to thank her as well.

Fredo, I feel a lot better although I have little anxiety tingling around. It's the risk factors of smallest possibility that really got me worried since I have been extremely unlucky as far as contracting herpes and hpv.

I will keep my mouth shut and hope for the best. When this thing gets over, I would like to speak up to Asian community to alert risks of stds including hiv. Thanks a lot for sharing with me, Aokanojo and Confused&Broken.


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