Hi chalkie,
Here's the answer to your question:
Genital HPV is spread through skin-to-skin contact, not through an exchange of bodily fluid. So you could just rub your gentials together, no penetration, and you can contract the virus. One of the many reasons it's so easily passed. If you've had sex, chances are you now have it. Condoms help, but are not 100% as they only cover the shaft. Not everything else. The link I supplied below should help answer other questions for you. As for oral sex, I hear it's extremely rare to contract HPV in your mouth:
Warts are not commonly found in the mouth, so some experts believe that transmission through oral sex is not as likely as with genital-to-genital or genital-to-anal contact. I got my information from here:
http://www.ashastd.org/hpv/hpv_learn.cfmYou can find lots of useful information there. Just click on the various links to the side.
Best thing to do is educate yourself, and get to know your genitals really well. That may sound funny and/or perverse, but trust me. It's good to know what's what down there, so if anything out of the ordinary pop's up, you'll be prepared. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I didn't take the time after I was diagnosed. Now I'm paranoid thinking this and that bump maybe a wart. I have to get myself to a dr tomorrow to help me sort what's what out. Now I wished I had examined myself better in the beginning. Another good thing to do is boost your immune system. Taking vitamins, etc.. Taking care of your body (if you're not already) and mind. If you smoke, QUIT. That will not help anything, and can make the situation worse. Keep up on your pap tests if you're female. That can also be a very early detector.
I know I'm over answering your main questions, but just wanted to throw all that out there, too. Especially since you're starting to panic right now. Trust me...I know how you feel. I'm still dealing with my vast array of emotions right now myself. I'm dealing with some major depression and attitude in regards to this crap. It takes time to deal with something like this.