Well it's been a little over 6mos since me first learning I have HPV. Was never given a clear answer to weather I have low and/or high risk. My initial pap was abnormal and I also displayed small lesions near my clitoris. My ex-boyfriend also had warts about 2 weeks after we had unprotected sex. I hate going to the doctor because they seem so nonchalant about HPV. Knowing that I have this and passed it to someone who I really loved has had a devastating emotional effect on me. Not one day has passed where I haven't thought about me having something there's no cure for. I sometimes cry at night for how this affects my future in regards to relationships.

Although, it's been a while since being sexually active, I'm going have another full STD screening. Before contracting this, I'd always be nervous. Today, I don't feel anything. I'm emotionally numb, but I'm hoping nothing else shows up.

Pray for me.

Hey,

You are SO very much in my thoughts! I get a little sad when I read your posts, as I think you're just way too hard on yourself. You haven't done anything wrong, not by a long shot, but I can understand your emotions.

I hope things go well with your tests, and that the HPV clears away sooner rather than later. It almost always does clear away, but the "getting there" part is so hard.

Please keep in touch, as I'll look every day to see if you have anything to post. Take care and just know we're here for you.

Best always,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

First, you don't know that you passed it on to him. He could have already had it and it just took this long for the visible symptoms to occur. I was diagnosed earlier this year with low risk HPV (although I have never had any warts) and then recently I was diagnosed with high risk HPV. Do I blame the guy that I'm with? No, there is no test and no way for him or I to really know who I got this from.

You need to stop blaming yourself for something you had no clue you had. Your ex is an adult and made as equal a decision to be sexually involved with you as you did to be with him. Unless you plan to be celebate for the rest of your life, there is always going to be some risk. Now that you know about HPV, you can have an honest conversation with future partners. Seriously, my partner took two seconds before he decided that since we both probably shared this virus, that there wasn't any point in really stressing about it. I go for a colpo next month.

Just remember that you are a lovely, vibrant person who just happened to contract a very prevalent virus. You and I will both survive HPV!

Hi Fredo and VC1,

Thanks for your responses. I really appreciate your support. I feel loved : )

Although it'll be about a week before I get the results of my pap smear, I just wanted to give you guys a quick snapshot of how my appt went. I asked to get a full std screening and she suggested that I wait another 4-6 months and have a "full women's wellness exam." I asked her to take a look at the small bumps near my clitoris and she said they were "hair bumps." I don't know how comfortable I am with that answer b/c I know I didn't always have them. I don't think it's a coincident that I now have HPV and these bumps have showed up. But I'm tryna keep it cool. She's says what'll probably end up happening is that if the results are normal or the same she'll see me back in 4-6 months. I'll report back to you guys as soon as I know my results.

On another note, I have made the decision to be celebate and work on myself first. Obviously, I'm not ready for a relationship. I've joined a young adult social group and the first night's topic was about finding the right person. It covered everything from A-Z. Interesting...I've also signed up for motorcycle lessons. It's something I've always wanted to do. Fredo, I'm going to try not to mope on here anymore. My intentions are not to make anyone sad. Thanks for caring tho.

If it is bothering you now..then I wouldn't suggest waiting because you will simply wonder for the next 6 months. Testing alliviates a lot of the what if thinking.

Fredo, I'm going to try not to mope on here anymore. My intentions are not to make anyone sad. Thanks for caring tho.

You didn't bother me at all! And I don't think you're moping in the least. Come here to vent any time you like, as that's one of the best uses of this board!

Thanks for the update, and we'll look forward to hearing from you again.

Best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

It's been a while since I posted this but, the update is that the results from my Feb 09 pap was normal. This is all so confusing. In May 08 I had my first ever abnormal pap. I had no visible symptoms. My ex bf had gw about two weeks after my abnormal pap. My biopsy showed no cancerous or precancerous lesions. Can anyone help make sense of this nonsense. LOL! This is really crazy. I mean, I'm grateful for the normal pap smear result, but do I or don't I have HPV? The doctor can't give me a straight answer.

Hey there,

Thanks so much for stopping by and giving us an update. The Pap test won't indicate much unless you have actual lesions (abnormal cervical cell changes) at the time it's done. Paps don't detect HPV itself, just the cell changes HPV sometimes causes. If no cell changes are present, then the Pap is likely going to be normal regardless of whether or not a woman has HPV.

If your partner had genital warts during or shortly after the time you were sexually active together, it wouldn't be uncommon for you to have had a "low risk" HPV type at some point (no way to know who had it first). It also is likely your body will clear that virus, too, probably to the point where it would be undetectable even on HPV testing!

Keep in touch and let us know if you have additional questions.

Best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator