Hello there!

I was informed 3 days ago that I am HPV positive and today I took the biopsy test in order to check which type of HPV I am infected.

I broke up a month ago with me ex-boyfriend and we seldom used a condom since he disliked it, so I thought that the right thing to do was inform him that he is probably HPV positive as well. What else should I advise him to do?

I have started dating someone new and beside the fact that I feel very responsible for him now that I know that I am infected, I would like to know what else I can do other that using a condom in order to protect him.

Is oral sex forbidden now that I am HPV positive?

I feel so stupid for having sex without condom with ex, and I feel so bad with myself now.

Welcome Drama Queen....although using condoms correctly does reduce the chance of contracting HPV, it is not 100%. I contracted HPV while using condoms. HPV is a skin to skin virus and there are parts of the genitals that are not covered while you are having sex....so it's hard to say whether or not you would have contracted it anyways.

Is oral sex forbidden now that I am HPV positive?

This is a bit tricky. It is recommended that while you are HPV+, that your partner not perform oral sex on you or at least use a form of barrier protection (such as a dental dam) until such a time as you come back HPV-. As for you performing oral sex on him....well, it is up to you whether you use protection or not. As Fredo has stated here on this site before, there are no organizations that are calling for an all out abstinence on oral sex. Since men cannot be tested, there really is no way to know whether your current partner has or has ever been exposed to a high risk strain of HPV (there are several) and if he has, whether it is still active or has gone into remission. So it's more of a comfort thing for you.

As to your ex...he should be up front with new partners that he was exposed to high risk HPV. Other than that..it will be up to him and his new partner regarding whether they want to use condoms etc.

Another good thing about talking about HPV is that it allows for other STD discussions to occur. It is very important to get tested regularly and also ask any new partner what they have been tested for.

I don't know that I'd strongly urge you to have an HPV discussion with your ex-partner, unless you think doing so would really make you feel better. There's nothing he can do, and very little risk of health complications for him.

Callie's very right in that the oral sex discussion is tricky, because we don't know a lot. Oral diseases related to HPV aren't common, really, but as Callie says, avoiding it while lesions (including cervical cell changes) are present is probably a good idea.

Best,
Fredo

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