Heya Mike! Welcome to the boards, and let's see what you've got:
1. About avoiding sex: The thing is, the fact that your gf has abnormal paps means that she has the "high grade" (cancer causing) type of HPV. Warts, which you have (does she have any also?) are the "low grade" (wart causing) type. It's very hard to say when a person actually contacted their source of HPV, so there should be no blame involved, just FYI. Also, HPV doesn't usually manifest immediately...it often takes months to show up (which is why I say it's hard to pinpoint your own HPV source). Heck, for some people it takes decades and then they're floored by finding out they have HPV so many years later. Keep in mind: HPV is an annoying variable affliction, doing different things for every individual.
I will say that, if you have warts, you should be treated by wart removal if they are indeed warts, and to see if your gf has any also. This is because, when you have warts, the warts themselves are very contagious and able to spread the HPV virus. When you remove them, it lowers the chance of transmission.
Therefore, I would not say avoid sex, but you both need treatment for warts and you ought to use condoms, since it seems to help by helping the body recover more quickly from the virus---over time a normal healthy person will either suppress HPV to inactive levels or, in the eyes of others, you basically cure yourself of the infection.
2. Oral sex: Again, I don't think you have to avoid this as the low grade/wart causing HPV doesn't like the oral area, and---to be honest---the "cancer causing" types are a possible source of head-neck cancer but are a very small causal percentage. I recommend that you get wart treatment, though, if you decide to do this.
3. Hand involvement: There are actually 100+ strains of HPV, which are the principle cause of warts. I think strains 1 and 2 are the cause of "common warts;" ano-genital types do not spread to the hands (they are pretty picky) so don't worry about this
4. Seeing a doctor: YES! I strongly advise that you both get treatment for warts and an exam for your gf by a gyn. This is also a good place to ask more questions about HPV, and for your gf to ask about what's going on in her genitals---you'll both be interested in knowing if there is any sort of dysplasia going on, which is the abnormal state of the cervical cells. If necessary, if the amount of abnormal cellularity is high, she may need further treatment to kill the bad cells.
I hope this is helpful to you! In regards to wart treatment, there is Aldara cream, electrocautery (burn the wart off) and there may be cryotherapy (this is liquid nitrogen, often needs several visits). All types require a good amount of healing, so you both may need to have to deal without intercourse----if needed though, maybe manual stimulation/masturbation is ok (to be frank, this is the thing I did because I did electrocautery and you need about a month for the healing to be complete).
It may be frustrating for a while, but as long as you two keep communication and continue to learn more about HPV you should be ok
Please feel free to keep us updated and to ask anything you need to.