I am ashamed. I am disgusted with myself. I have caught this horrible thing and I have also given it to my girlfriend.

I was going to ask her to marry me in a few weeks, now she hates me and doesn't even want the ring. She is convinced that now we can't ever have children.

I haven't been able to confirm this with a doctor yet because I can't get into the surgery as its fully booked up in the short term, so I am in real need or urgent advice and support.

I need to know more about this thing, there is so much about it on the internet but it all seems so so horrible that I can't see any hope of living through this.

Can we get past this? Does this virus ever leave the body? Can we ever successfully have a child without passing this virus on?

I can't see any light at the end of this tunnel. At first I thought from my research that it could be beaten but I feel completely dead right now.

Please help.

Hi Andy,

Thanks for posting and I'm really glad you found us. I notice that you don't have a medical diagnosis yet, so curious as to why you think you have HPV. Are you having symptoms, or has a former partner said something about a diagnosis?

Feeling ashamed, guilty, scared, and all that is not uncommon with HPV, sad to say. I think that has a lot to do with the way we're brought up to think about sex and STDs. Those feeling are understandable.

You haven't done anything wrong, though, my friend. HPV is so common that at least 75% of all sexually active people are thought to have one or more HPV infections at some point in their lives. Having HPV is, well, very normal! It doesn't feel that way, though, does it?

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She is convinced that now we can't ever have children.

Nope. HPV almost never poses any problems with childbearing. Should be a non-issue.

Can we get past this? Most everyone does. Does this virus ever leave the body? Most cases clear naturally in 6-24 months. Can we ever successfully have a child without passing this virus on? Yes.

I can't see any light at the end of this tunnel. At first I thought from my research that it could be beaten but I feel completely dead right now.

You're still early, and panicked...and confused. Keep asking questions, getting good information, and hang in there! Post here anytime.

Best to you,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Thanks Fredo!

Any words of encouragement are heartfelt right now.

Well I had my visit to the doc's today, it seems its a correct self-diagnosis, although he was pretty casual about the whole thing, telling me it wasn't anything to worry too much about.

I can't see that though. I got the wart frozen off with liquid nitrogen. This thing is more emotionally challenging than anything ever!

The worst thing is not feeling bad about myself, I feel most ashamed that I didn't know I had this sooner, and because of this my girlfriend also has it. I have so much guilt for letting this happen.

We are both most concerned about even a remote possibility it could be passed on to our children. I asked the doctor about this and he said he had never heard of it, and recommended by GF get the vaccine but she actually already finished the vaccines. Is it passed on? I couldn't bear the thought of giving this to a child.

I don't know if we can even have sex anymore. I don't want us spreading it between us or making it any worse. Or if it's spread by contact from one part to another part of sensitive areas. How bad is this!

On a positive note this forum is full of positive thoughts and thanks for your kind words!

http://www.ashastd.org/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=208 for more on why partners aren't likely to reinfect each other.

HPV and pregnancy: http://www.ashastd.org/hpv/hpv_learn_warts.cfm#9

Fredo

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ASHA Moderator