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National Cervical Cancer Coalition

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 Post subject: HPV and Dating
PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 8:51 pm 

Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:13 pm
Posts: 89
Ok, so it's been over a year now since I first found out that I have HPV. I have been really lonely since my ex bf and I broke up after the diagnosis of both of us (him w/ warts & me w/ an abnormal pap). He has gotten the warts removed and I have had a normal pap since. The thing is I really been wanting to date again. So even tho I don't know how I feel about this new guy, he told me he had strong feelings for me. I felt so bad b/c I had been holding back from him, making dates and then canceling with him, dodging his calls and texts. The reason I've been doing this stuff is b/c I didn't want to tell him about the whole HPV thing. I'd honestly just rather not deal with it. So I finally broke down and gave him the background of how things happen and....drum roll...HE WAS OK WITH IT. I was in tears and just sobbing and he told me it wasn't my fault and he's still been calling and trying to take me out like crazy. Isn't that crazy?! LOL! I know every guy isn't going to be like that but, I felt better after telling him. The only problem is I'm not sure that I like him that way. Siggghhh.... just wanted to share with you guys. Questions, comments?!
: )

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:23 pm 
Site Admin

Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:08 pm
Posts: 2122
Location: North Carolina
I know that wasn't easy, but I'm glad things worked out so well. Now you just have to decide if you want to pursue this relationship or not.

How are you doing these days?


ASHA Moderator

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 10:05 pm 

Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:13 pm
Posts: 89
I'm so-so Fredo. I really, really appreciate you asking.

I'm still having difficulty dealing with HPV and it's been over a year now. Sighhh! What a life?!

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 10:39 pm 

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:49 pm
Posts: 12
Location: Texas
Hey guys,

I'm so going through a similar situation.
I just broke up with my then bf in March, he was the first I had ever had unprotected sex with; and no, I didn't inform him about my diagnosis afterwards (we had already broken up).

I haven't wanted to be in a relationship because I think it would just be really stressful to deal with rejection. Yeah, I've heard that most have reacted "positively" (as anybody can anyway), to the news of HPV but it's still quite difficult. Anyway, I have told my friend (I previously posted about him), and he was very supportive. However - I don't know how to tell this guy.

He seems quite serious about being with me, and sure things have become quite ... well not so much physical, but I know that he is interested in that way, and I stop it (I wouldn't want to have him find out that I have genital HPV that way). I feel that I really need to be honest with him, and tell him. He has told me he cares about me and that he loves me. But... *sigh*... I feel that if I tell him 1) he's not really going to understand, and 2) that he might disclose this with people, or 3) see me in a different light and i don't want to be identified as the girl that has GW...

Where do I start? Where do I go from here? I'm sure that these are just some of the few questions that people have had, and that this has probably been answered before.

On another note:
I have noticed some improvement :)
I haven't been able to get treatment b/c of lack of money. Either way, some started going away on their own, while some have decreased in size. I think this is pretty good. The people at the clinic told me that they will be checking me again in a year, since it was very mild, and that the immune system will work it out. Before I was stressed and lost a lot of weight due to this, but now, I'm starting to gain it all back lol ridiculously hahaha

Anyway, hope all are well and I await a response.

"Courage is not the absence of fear yet, it is the presence of fear but the will to go on."

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:12 am 

Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 4:38 pm
Posts: 8
I know it's hard to talk to guys about this! I had an abnormal pap and I needed to tell two guys. (Too much drama in my life, but that's another story.) I was so stressed about it. I was a nervous wreck. I told them both and the conversations went a million times better than I thought they would. They were both understanding and supportive. They expressed concern for me and they didn't blame me.

It's hard to bring it up. There's no easy way. I just started by saying I had some bad news. I asked if they'd heard of the vaccine gardisil, and then I said I had that virus. I like using the reference to the vaccine. If there's a vaccine now that all women should get, clearly anyone can get this virus. Makes it seem a little more normal.

I'm a big fan of talking with partners about it now. It's much better than stressing and carrying the burden alone.

Just my thoughts.

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