Two months later I have a new friend and we desperately want to have sex
(oral, intercourse etc.). I can't be proven not to have the high risk strain of HPV. We are trying to determine what are the risks - if any - of:
(1) cunnilingus (sp?)
(2) fellatio (with and without semen in the mouth)
(3) intercourse with condoms
In case of (1), Can possible HPV presence in my mouth lead to high risk HPV in her cervix?
I don't think anyone's studied this, so there's no way to say yes or no, or to guess how likely. My guess is few people acquire cervical HPV infections from receiving oral sex, but again there's no data on it.
In case of (2), Can my possible genital HPV cause cervical infection if I ejaculated in her mouth?
What CAN we do, while we wait to be sure enough about this relationship to take significant risks?
Hand-to-genital contact probably poses little risk for any STD. Oral sex is likely not as likely a means of HPV transmission as vaginal intercourse, but of course is not risk free. Using a latex condom for any sexual contact is one option.
Also, can anyone point to any scientific data about how long it would take from the time of transmission from male to female - for abnormal cervical cells to show up via papsmear? weeks? months?
Most women with cervical HPV NEVER have a single abnormal Pap as a result. It can take weeks, months, or years before anything is detected, when it is at all. To give a more direct answer to your question, though, low-level cell changes typically develop over about eight months or so. Keep in mind that most of these changes will clear on their own!
I'd urge you to think about it this way: There's probably no way to know if you were the source of the ex's HPV infection and even if you were, does not tell you if you currently have the virus or can transmit it to a partner.
Keep in mind, too, that virtually all sexually active people have one or more HPV infections over their lifetime, but the vast majority of cases are harmless (even high-risk in females), silent, and clear without a clue or a trace. Follow your gut and comfort level: Hold off for awhile if you like, maybe use condoms while you're working through all this, and make sure she has her regular Pap tests (her health care provider will tell her how often).