Hello all,

My fiance and I have been together for 2 years. 3 months into our relationship, we learned that some symptoms she had were genital warts from a previous relationship. We were both devistated...needless to say about a year later i had my first outbreak.

I was wondering if oral sex is a bad idea for two people with GW. Our doctors haved never steared us away from it or expressed any risks etc. We perform oral sex on eachother regularly and the concern is always there. As I understand it, wart causing HPV is very selective about where it takes up residence...is this true?

Thanks to all for hearing me out. I'm still kind of messed up about this whole thing.

I have the same question. I have recently had my first out break. I have an apt with my gyno to do laser removal on this Monday for a wart on my vulva. Since I feel totally guilty like I am a dirty horrible person (and who knows we have been together for 6 months, he could have given it to me and not a previous relationship) Nevertheless, I feel guilty. I have been performing oral sex on him. I have noticed a spot on my tongue. I have a call into my doctor today. Can i have a break out in my mouth if he doesn't have any symptoms and is just a carrier?? I can not find any info on the sites related to this.

I am scared. Please help!!

Hi guys,

Thanks for posting. Research pretty much concludes that performing oral sex is a risk for HPV, but no one can say just how much of a risk. Tictoc is absolutely right, "genital" types of HPV prefer skin in that part of the body and are much less prone to become established and cause anything orally. HPV is very common, oral sex is very common...but oral warts aren't.

There is very little guidance for couples here. HPV does not have to be visible to be transmitted, but the risk is probably greatest when warts are present. Warts that have cleared for six months or more are unlikely to return and many experts think the risk of transmission is also diminished at this point. That cannot be proven, though.

I hope this helps. Post again if you'd like to chat more about this.

Oh, and Parteepink? You are so NOT dirty and horrible! HPV is so incredibly common that virtually all sexually active people will have one or more HPV infections in their lifetime. The only difference between you and the rest of the world is you were actually diagnosed. What you ARE is very, very normal!

Best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Thanks Fredo -

And thank you parteepink -

I know Fredo is right about not being dirty and horrible etc., but I can't shake that feeling either. No matter how many times I hear how common HPV and warts are, I still can't stand myself. I go to the doctor, lay there completely vulnerable and embarassed, the nurse watching over the doctors shoulder as she paints acid on me...can't help but think they are judging me even though I know I'm probably only 1 of 50 or so people who will be in for the same thing in the next hour. I feel disgusted with myself.

For a while I blamed my fiance, doubted the things she told me about her past (insisting there must be more to her past for this to happen etc.). I now know that's not the case and totally understand that she feels the same way I do. The only difference is she can hate the guy that gave it to her and be angry at him because he is in the past. I am in love with the person that gave it to me so the anger and hatred has turned inward i guess....i don't know. I know she didn't know she was infected and so i really can't blame her. I don't know...just babbling now...been a year and every time i get treated, the warts come back a few weeks later. Can't stand it anymore. I know I have to quit smoking if i want to increase my chances, but the whole thing stresses me out so much it makes it that much harder to quit smoking.

Forgive me for going on so long...just need to vent sometimes. Thanks again for listening.

You go right ahead and vent all you want, sometimes that's the best way to use these boards. You've given me some good insight into how difficult things can be for patients, and I totally get feeling vulnerable when you're getting treatment. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective.

As for turning the anger inward...that almost sounds like you're depressed, and that also makes sense. Frustrating, too, that you have feelings of anger bubble up naturally, then you feel guilty about where you want to direct them! That's tough, pal, but I applaud you for being so aware of what you're feeling.

Take care and please post anytime.

Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

tictoc....

Thank you for saying how I feel. It's like doctors and such just dismiss your feelings because it is soooo common!!! But this is my body!! I am to deal with this. I know and understand that the dr stated once my strain is treated I have a less than 5% chance of another out break... but ya know what I heard, I still have a chance of another out break. I am embarassed, ashamed, angry, depressed, etc!! My boyfriend has been extremely supportive. I think he may have a little guilt himself because we truly don't know who gave it to whom. We bother understand that just because he doesn't develop outward symptoms he could still have the virus. And as supportive as he is, I am still down on myself. Neither of us have been with another partner for quite some time before we got together aver 6 months ago so we really don't know the source.

I did hear from my gyno yesterday and he told me the spots on the back of my tongue are probably from the HPV. He advised me to go to a oral surgeon. I called several and either they did not take my insurance or did not treat that.... so you can imagine how depressed I was having to repeat this over and over and then being rejected each time. Finally the last office I called told me I may want to go to and ENt. I decided to call my primary dr. I stayed on the phone with his nurse for about a half and hour and she just let me cry and be angry and did not dismiss my emotions. It was the best feeling I had in a long time. I am going to see him on monday evening.

I am scared. The pictures on the internet show people's faces completely distorted and such that it is horific and I know they post like worse case senarios but it scares the heck out of me. I can't help but feel like I am being punished for something. I don't know, i guess everyone deals differently.

TICTOC....

I would be glad to keep in contact with you, even in private messages if you are interested in ever just venting. Sometimes I feel completely alone because I mean I am not just going to talk to anyone about this.

FReDO....

Thank you so much for the support and information. This is awesome that people like you care so much to help others through tough times!!

Sure, that's natural. Keep in mind almost all such images are, just as you say, "worst case" and unusual situations, and most probably involve folks who didn't seek treatment for one reason or another.

Keep in touch and keep posting!

Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Hey parteepink -

I totally feel where your coming from. I myself am kinda depressed right now cause I just had a treatment maybe a month ago and the damn warts are back....AGAIN!!!! Same spot...never any worse than the time before, but never any better either. Now i'm trying to quit smoking and just getting more frustrated. I too am know starting to freak out about oral transmission...RRP? i think it's called? Scares the hell out of me but at the same time, we've been giving eachother oral for so long already I don't see the point in starting to be safe about it now. I don't know, maybe that's not the best way to look at it...what are your thoughts? Keep in touch parteepink...hope all is well with you:)

Fredo...please chime in on this if you can...I truely appreciate and value your knowledge. Also, I have heard that tea tree oil can help clear GW outbreaks. Is there any truth to that?

Thanks again and my best to you all

I've never seen any hard evidence of this, and none of our expert advisers have ever mentioned tea tree oil to me.

Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Hey kids, I just wanted to jump in here on the Tea Tree Oil thing. I have had GW for 10 years (yeah, lucky me) and it has given me alot of time to try all of the holistic remedies. I tried tea tree oil for a few months and I can tell you a few things about it before you go that route:

1) Tea tree oil will NOT stay put. If you put a drop of the oil on one particular spot it will spread to surrounding areas. I have found no way to stop this. I have mixed the oil with many different things (Baking soda, Baby powder, castor oil, combinations of all three...) and it ALWAYS wicks away to different (larger) areas of your skin.

2) Tea Tree Oil is an astringent. When you first begin to use tea tree oil you will probably feel a icy-hot type of burn (mild, but still not pleasant). After several days of use I experienced a drying deep into my skin (note: that is why tea tree oil is supposedly good for GW, they need a moist place to thrive). This dryness came with some of the most intense itching I have ever experienced. I am a man, so this was all external, but I can't imagine what long term exposure of this astringent to the vaginal mucous membrane would feel like, I'm guessing worse since it is supposed to be moist there.

3) The smell upon first using it is strong but tolerable, but you will probably grow to hate it. Personally I get nauseous every time I smell the stuff now. Probably a pavlovian response to all the discomfort that the stuff caused me in the past, but who knows.

Just my $0.02, I hope this helps someone here.

-Dean