Well, it's been 16 months since being diagnosed with HPV. I was never told by my doctor what kind, but I assume low risk, since my ex had genital warts. He had them cryo'd while, my doctor took the watch and wait approach. I have since had 2 normal pap smears and a completely negative std screening (Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Syphilis, Hep B, and HIV). I am really grateful for all this but, I'm still nervous about dating. I am fearful that I still may give HPV to someone. How do I move past this? It's really taking a toll on my social life. I'm 26 and I feel like HPV has ruined my life. I can't just not tell a future partner, off the speculation that they've probably had, I "might" not be able to pass it to them or "it's no big deal" like everyone keeps saying. I know the way this has emotionally and socially affected me and I would feel extremely guilty to cause such havoc to someone else's life. I've tried "STD Dating Sites"...no luck. I told one guy who was cool with it, but I decided not to pursue anything with him. I'm tired of asking my doctors, they don't give any straight answers and just don't seem to care.

Anyone who has moved on with success? What did you say? How often are you rejected, than not? Any partners you have passed it to when you were supposed to be "clear" of HPV (low risk)? How/where did you meet your partner?

I feel kinda lame writing this. Miss Popularity has exited the building. Enter... Miss Lonely.

Hi there,

Just FYI the post I answered before reading yours was on the same general topic. Since you've been on this board awhile you might be familiar with all this, but take a look at the discussion if you like at http://www.ashastd.org/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=6903

Keep posting!
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Some thoughts here: your concern for others is admirable. HPV is so common, and so pervasive around the world, that it's now become essentially a "marker" for sexual activity. In other words if you have sex, you get HPV. Not everyone contracts the virus but at least 75% in the U.S. do, and many have more than one infection over their lifetimes. Fortunately, most cases are harmless and self-resolve, but I understand your anxiety.

Here's an HPV News article that might be of interest:

Disclosing Genital Warts to Partners

British study indicates partners more accepting than expected

Learning that a sexual partner has been diagnosed with genital warts may not prompt the negative reaction many fear, according to a British study published in Sexually Transmitted Infections.

To better understand what factors are important in disclosing a genital warts diagnosis to a partner, Dr. Louise Scrivener, with the Department of Psychology at the University of London, and colleagues recruited 54 patients with a history of genital warts who have had a sexual relationship since their diagnosis. The participants, all of whom were patients at a London medical clinic, completed questionnaires that assessed anxiety, perceptions of stigma around STIs, and relationship variables. 57% of participants identified as white, 30% as black and 13% as Asian.

67% of the subjects reported having informed their partner of the diagnosis, with the main reasons for dong so including honesty, the partner having a right to know, desire to prevent transmission, and stress related to not disclosing. Disclosers had lower overall anxiety levels and were more likely to describe their relationships as long-term and close.

Non-disclosers, who most often cited embarrassment and fear of a negative reaction as prime reasons for not telling a partner, were more likely to express regret over their decision than were disclosers. Such fears may have been unfounded, though, as those who disclosed said the partner’s response was much better than expected.

ASHA’s HPV message board forum offers a free, anonymous venue for support and information, and site users often have discussions around HPV in relationships. Log on to http://www.ashastd.org/phpbb/index.php to read more.

Reference:
L Scrivener et al. Disclosure of anogenital wars to sexual partners. Sexually Transmitted Infections. 2008; 84(3): 179-182.

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ASHA Moderator

Hi Fredo, It's been over a year for me. I was diagnosed with high risk HPV, however the last time I went to my doctor and was "abnormal" she just said to come back in 3 months. I don't want to have to go through another coposcopy, it was so painful the last time and they found nothing.