Hi,

I just got a call a couple days ago from the nurse at my doctors nonchalantly telling me I have HPV. I couldn't beleive it. I don't believe it. I'm married to the man I've been with for the last 14 years. We are totally committed to each other. How could this have happened?!

I've been struggling with how to tell my husband. I'm totally shocked about this whole thing. I'm worried about what he may think. I'm worried he may not want to touch me. I feel dirty, like damaged goods. This feel s like a nightmare.

To top matters off there is hardly any resources or support groups in my area. The last few days have been hard. Between searching for info on the internet and making calls to my doctors office I feel still in the dark. I have some questions that I can't find any answers to.


Neither I or my husband have warts does that mean we will never get them o?
Will I have this virus forever? (I understand it may clear on it's own, if it does clear and we only have sex with each other, can i forget about it ever coming back?)
I have a 5mos old daughter, should I still breastfeed?
Has anyone ever heard of HPV developing after 14 years of a monogamous relationship?

Hi kbitz,

It's not unusual at all for HPV to be detected in a long-term relationship. In fact, HPV has even been found decades after a person might have been exposed. Your situation is not uncommon at all, then.

One of the first things is to understand that HPV is so very common, virtually all sexually active people have it at some point in their lives. Up to 80% of women (and probably a similar number of men) are thought to have HPV by age 50. Having this virus simply means you're normal; the difference between you and most others is just that you actually received a diagnosis.

No worries about having sex with your husband, as you won't reinfect one another. Few people with HPV (which, again, is most everyone) develop visible symptoms, and the type of HPV you have may well not even be one that's linked with warts anyway.

Bottom line: You are not damaged goods, you're just normal!

Hope this helps, but please keep posting and visiting anytime you like.

Best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Thanks Fredo.
I appreciate your response. I've had time to deal with this and after talking with my husband and reading your response, I feel better.