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National Cervical Cancer Coalition

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 Post subject: HELP!!!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:08 pm 

Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:59 am
Posts: 1
I am a male early 50ish and recently found a few bumps on my scrotum and now one on my penis. I have been with the same woman for 6 years now. We are progressing in our relationship toward marriage but now this has happened. We both have had sex with prevoius partners and need to figure out how to discuss this with her as I am afraid she will go off the deep end. I just do not know how to bring it up. I know that she is going to automatically blame me for being promiscous yet I have been with her only? We have had a very active sex life together...more so than any other relationship. Also previous relations have always used great caution. HELP...

Last edited by completely confused on Sun Apr 15, 2007 4:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:52 pm 

Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 12:05 am
Posts: 8
Location: Kentucky
I know how you feel. When I found out that I had warts I had been with the same guy for 2 and 1/2 years. And I was afraid to tell him because in my mind I thought that there was no way that he would want to stay with someone who was "dirty". However I did tell him and he was great about it. We are still together and he's been very supportive. I know that things don't always turn out like this, but it can.

As far as how to tell her, just be honest and reassuring. I know it's not easy, but that's the only advice I have. I know that if it had happened the other way around in my situation, I would have been upset at first, but I would've gotten over it and worked to keep the relationship going. Good luck. I hope things work out for you.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:56 pm 

Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 2:43 pm
Posts: 405
First off calm down. I know that is easier said than done but you are amongst friends who are dealing with HPV and we can help :D

HPV is a common virus and can be spread from skin to skin contact. Even if you use condoms it is not guaranteed that you won't be infected with the virus.Also HPV can lay dormant in the body for weeks, months and in some cases years before anything shows up whether visible or in a pap smear result so it's hard to tell exactly when the infection took place. Also one can have a normal pap smear but still have genital warts. Some warts can't be seen with the visible eye. True the conversation is hard especially with someone you truly care about. If you give your partner facts she may be more understanding than you think.

If you and your partner would like more information, she can refer to this website and :

Promiscuity has nothing to do with HPV. All it takes is one partner and one time. She may have passed it to you with no symptoms or you may have had it for some time and it's now surfacing. The best thing to do is to check with your doctor and don't be afraid or embarrased to let your doc know what's going one. I'm sure they have seen things we couldn't believe. Also if it is warts, there are treatment options available. There is no cure but HPV can be managed

If you need more info just post your note. We are all here to help, give personal experiences and to answer any questions you may have. Fredo (the moderator ) is the best with much information to share.

You can still have an active sex life with HPV, children and the whole nine yards.

Good luck and I'm cheering for you. Also if your fiancee has questions, just post them and maybe we can help :D

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