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National Cervical Cancer Coalition


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 Post subject: relationships
PostPosted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:49 am 

Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2010 6:33 am
Posts: 2
After reading and responding to a post from 2009, I thought I would bring it up to the forefront. Please see below.


manifest_this wrote:
dmp1123 wrote:
Hi all-
I am posting for my dear boyfriend who I told last month that I had a positive high risk HPV test. It has been incredibly confusing since then-- I was under the impression that there is little risk to men with the high risk type, but on further research he found a ton of information about HPV being linked to throat cancer as a result of oral sex. How much of a risk is this? Is there a test for oral HPV? Can a man of 45 get a vaccine (he seems to think so but I have never heard this) Is oral sex without a barrier an impossibility for the rest of our lives?

The information is all so contradictory. I tend to be less alarmist and low-intervention about things, but my man is much more cautious and freaked out. What are reliable sources of information??!!

Thanks and looking forward to your response,
DMP1123



I am not sure if this board is much up-to-date anymore. But I am in the same situation as poster quoted above. In fact, I would like to take it a bit further. I have read everything on my high risk HPV and finally feel that I have a handle on it, and understand that as soon as you learn one thing there is something else to learn further that may even dispute what you previously hav learned.
My longterm boyfriend and myself of course share the HPV at this point. I was under the impression that when sharing the virus, there is no ping-ponging back and forth. Even further, I read that when you catch a strand of the virus, that strand cannot be ‘re-caught’/ping-pinged, etc. I told my Dr this, as I had to bring it up to him, and he said I am correct but who knows, and why don’t we try using condoms again for a little while as maybe it will help me/us clear the high risk HPV.

When I told my boyfriend that we have to start using condoms again (and that I was going to go off birth control so it was a good idea anyway!), this is what hit him the hardest, because I could not tell him for how long or really even why – since we both already have this thing. He is not only hurt that we have an STD, but he is also hurt that the woman he loves he cannot be intimate with without a condom. As we plan to spend the rest of our lives together, will we always have to use a condom?

Has any man been in this situation and do you have anything to offer to help me further learn?



If my DR wouldn’t have told me to try to use condoms and see if it clears, then I would absolutely be certain that my boyfriend and I shared the hpv and it did not ping pong, and only time will tell how long it takes for me to clear it through my paps and colpos, etc. SO WHY on earth did he tell me this? He even said himself, ‘it’s not certain, but why not try it.’ This, coming from a DR who knows I only sleep with this one man, and we plan on having children in a few years.

Anyone else ever hear this??

Like so many others, HPV is a big strain on the relationship both sexually and mentally. We both have it, then we shouldnt worry. It's not the end of the world and we'll get thoguh it. but at the same time. since there are so many things not known about the virus, it of course becomes a big black hole of worry.


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 Post subject: Re: relationships
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:35 am 
Site Admin

Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:08 pm
Posts: 2122
Location: North Carolina
There have been a couple of smallish studies that indicate couples who use condoms clear HPV a bit faster than those that don't (but most will clear HPV eventually regardless). It isn't clear exactly why condoms seem to help clear the virus more quickly: One theory is that condoms cause "microtrauma" to the genital skin, little abrasion, tears, openings, etc. that somehow opens things up so the immune response spies and responds to HPV better. Another is that while couples don't exactly reinfect each other with HPV the way they can with, say, chlamydia or gonorrhea, condoms might reduce the amount of HPV that's in the mix for the immune system to deal with. Maybe it's a combination of things, or some other factors that haven't been considered!

Best,
Fredo

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