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National Cervical Cancer Coalition


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 Post subject: HPV and Relationships
PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:07 am 

Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2010 7:14 pm
Posts: 1
Location: St. Paul
[[Note: I accidentially posted this in the wrong forum. My bad. ]]

Hello all...this is my first post here on the ASHA message boards, and I first want to start off by saying that I've been able to deal with my situation a lot easier knowing that a) I'm not alone, and b) my boyfriend isn't alone.

So here's my situation:

I'm in a relationship with the love of my life. Him and I plan on getting married, there are just some road blocks that are putting that off right now (like, I'm still in school and the relationship is presently long distance). Everything has been kosher, and amazing in our relationship (and still is), however, my boyfriend dropped some big news on me earlier this week.

He told me that he has HPV. Much to my surprise, I wasn't upset about it. I'm still not upset about it. He told me that he's been hesitating to tell me, because he didn't want to risk the chance of losing me. Now, I love this kid--too much sometimes--and I'm not going to let one little road block stop me from spending my life with him.

Here are my worries:

When my boyfriend was telling me about this, he told me that he's known he's had it for about 3 years now, but like most people, he's unsure of HOW he got it. That's understandable, especially after reading about HPV over the last couple of days (it's that case with most people, right?). This isn't so much of a worry, but rather a buffer for what he told me next.

He got engaged about 3 years ago, and while he was with his ex-fiancé, she was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. He had no signs, and no reason to think that he had HPV until she came to him and told him she had cancer.

Now, I haven't done anything sexual with my boyfriend aside from kissing, simply because of how I've wanted to handle this relationship verses others I've had in the past. I now am very happy that I made this decision, and it's making complete sense why he was so okay with it. lol

I asked him if he was showing any physical signs, and he said that he had a couple of warts showing up within the last month or two. Here's my question: Is the strain of HPV that causes genital warts, also linked to cervical cancer?

As I've said, I love this man with everything inside of me, and I loved him before I knew he had HPV, and I'm going to continue loving him with HPV. I'm just wanting to know what I can do to be supportive of him, as he has to deal with this. Inevitably I feel as though I'll get it...and I'll deal with that once I have to face it. But I can't even begin to imagine what fears he has going on inside of his head, and I just want to make sure that I'm doing everything right.

Is there no such thing as too many questions in this type of situation? Or, should I let him slowly open up to me about it all? I know this whole post is just a bunch of skattered thoughts...I just want to make sure I'm going about this right.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:56 pm 
Site Admin

Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:08 pm
Posts: 2122
Location: North Carolina
Hello all...this is my first post here on the ASHA message boards, and I first want to start off by saying that I've been able to deal with my situation a lot easier knowing that a) I'm not alone, and b) my boyfriend isn't alone.

So here's my situation:

I'm in a relationship with the love of my life. Him and I plan on getting married, there are just some road blocks that are putting that off right now (like, I'm still in school and the relationship is presently long distance). Everything has been kosher, and amazing in our relationship (and still is), however, my boyfriend dropped some big news on me earlier this week.

He told me that he has HPV. Much to my surprise, I wasn't upset about it. I'm still not upset about it. He told me that he's been hesitating to tell me, because he didn't want to risk the chance of losing me. Now, I love this kid--too much sometimes--and I'm not going to let one little road block stop me from spending my life with him.

Here are my worries:

When my boyfriend was telling me about this, he told me that he's known he's had it for about 3 years now, but like most people, he's unsure of HOW he got it. That's understandable, especially after reading about HPV over the last couple of days (it's that case with most people, right?). This isn't so much of a worry, but rather a buffer for what he told me next.

He got engaged about 3 years ago, and while he was with his ex-fiancé, she was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. He had no signs, and no reason to think that he had HPV until she came to him and told him she had cancer.

Now, I haven't done anything sexual with my boyfriend aside from kissing, simply because of how I've wanted to handle this relationship verses others I've had in the past. I now am very happy that I made this decision, and it's making complete sense why he was so okay with it. lol

I asked him if he was showing any physical signs, and he said that he had a couple of warts showing up within the last month or two. Here's my question: Is the strain of HPV that causes genital warts, also linked to cervical cancer?

The types of HPV that cause genital warts are usually not the same that are linked with cervical cancer. It's not unusual to have more than one type of HPV. Even the "high risk" types that cause cervical cancer are seldom dangerous, and cancer is a rare outcome. The most important thing for you if/when you become sexually active with your partner is to have regular Pap tests and to make sure your health care provider knows about all this. Most women with any type of HPV never have an abnormal Pap as a result.

As I've said, I love this man with everything inside of me, and I loved him before I knew he had HPV, and I'm going to continue loving him with HPV. I'm just wanting to know what I can do to be supportive of him, as he has to deal with this. Inevitably I feel as though I'll get it...and I'll deal with that once I have to face it. But I can't even begin to imagine what fears he has going on inside of his head, and I just want to make sure that I'm doing everything right.

Is there no such thing as too many questions in this type of situation? Or, should I let him slowly open up to me about it all? I know this whole post is just a bunch of skattered thoughts...I just want to make sure I'm going about this right.

HPV infections are common. In fact, 80% of women are estimated to have at least one HPV infection by age 50. Fortunately, they aren't usually harmful and, in most cases, the immune system is able to clear the virus over time.
Post anytime you have questions!


Best,
Fredo

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