Hi and thanks for posting. It's not unusual to be upset, even really upset, after first finding out about HPV. Lots of people report feeling anxious, blue, and so on, and that's understandable. Let's take a look at your questions:
I just found out I tested positive for hpv and I'm devastated - I've only had two partners and I feel just so down and saddened to have gotten something that seems like people are still trying to completely figure out and something that is in the gray area that your body may rid or not rid.
Most experts believe the body does clear HPV naturally, but the virus may exist at some latent, undetectable level in those whose immune systems have "cleared" it. For most people this is never an issue unless their immune system becomes badly compromised down the road. It isn't clear what impact this might have on transmission to future partners, but few of the experts I've encountered believe an HPV infection is likely to always be transmitted to new partners. The tough part is there's no test to figure out when someone may have reached this point.
I'm so worried about everything - feeling paranoid - my boyfriend has been very supportive - but this has taken over my life where I can't focus at work, no interested in doing anything and I can't even sleep well through the night anymore. As common as this is and as there are many people who have and dont even know - it does not make me feel any better!
Yeah and, again, you're surely not alone in feeling this way. Anything to do with sex etc. tends to put us on edge, especially when you read about HPV being linked to cervical cancer. Fortunately, cancer of any type is a RARE outcome of an HPV infection, and typically occurs in women who either have never had a Pap test or have gone many years without one.
Oh gosh - I really feel like this year has been so horrible for me . . . now I'm paranoid about possible transmission of the virus orally - and I've only performed oral sex literally 3 times. What are my chances? Do I even want to know if I have it? Am I going to get cancer? Will I be able to live a normal life? How do I cope ? Am I ever going to get rid of this thing from my body? Should I stop having sex with my boyfriend? And if he is the one that has it - does it mean I'll always have this virus?
Couples are presumed to share an HPV infection, usually impossible to figure out the "when" and "from whom" questions. Unlikely couples sharing the virus will "ping pong" it back and forth...some small studies suggest using condoms helps clear the virus and related lesions a bit more quickly. Continuing your normal sex life with your partner is not likely to be an issue, though.
My throat is killing me and so sore - im so paranoid now and convinced that I have it in my throat and have cancer in my throat.
There is a link between some types of HPV and specific types of head and neck cancer (which includes those of the oral cavity) but keep in mind that head and neck cancers are actually pretty uncommon, and a relatively small subset of them is thought to be linked to HPV. We can't tell you what's causing your symptoms and ask your doctor etc etc. We can say that oral cancer linked to HPV is even less common that cervical diseases (which themselves are rare).
Sorry all - its hard when there is no one to talk to about this and everything always seems to explode and seem to be extremely frightening - I really dont handle stress well.
I've been trying to convince myself that having this virus is worse then having a bad allergic reaction to peanuts . . . or something else thats really horrible . . . .its just not working . . . *Sigh.
One thing to say about having HPV: It means you're very, very normal!