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National Cervical Cancer Coalition

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:17 am 

Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:19 am
Posts: 5
Okay, I have seriously not been on since about 2009 I believe. I would just like to discuss my recent experiences, and recap my past and hopefully help some new people in this situation.

First, HPV sucks, but so many of us have it, don't let this tear you apart!
I got diagnosed (had genital warts) when I was 19, got it from a boyfriend. Him and I broke up and when I started dating a new guy, I wanted to die. I had told other guys and been rejected and I really liked this one. I was 21 at this time, hadn't had a wart since the first diagnoses, screwed up and had protected sex without telling him. I felt terrible and had to tell him immediately, I was sure I would be rejected. Well, he accepted it and me, and we were together for 3.5 years. We broke up last year and I told the next guy I started dating before the sex, and he accepted it too, no problem. (it isn't all this easy, but at least the good guys are worth it!) I use personal birth control and my long term partners/boyfriend have made the choice to go sans condoms, even knowing about it.

Last year I was telling my doctor at my regular check up how stressed I was to have to start discussing this with any new potential partner. UGH! I hate HATE HATE the anxiety and fear of rejection (and remember people, I have had this now for 7 years, and have told a lot of people!! still hate THE TALK)
My doctor told me in her opinion I was wart free for so long, she really didn't think I needed to continue having the talk. Well, I went with her advise because heck, it is sooo much easier not to have that stress. Let me say, DON'T DO IT! The Talk before hand is better than after!

I have now been dating a wonderful guy, been using protection, have not had the talk, and the other day we went sans protection, I felt terrible, like I was lying, like I should have told him before we ever had intercourse the first time! Well, tonight guess what I have discovered, yup, warts. So not only do I need to make an appointment tomorrow for the soonest available appointment, I now need to have THE TALK after the fact. I feel terrible, absolutely horrible for not telling him ahead of time. I am going to do it this week, UGH.

I will definitely respond with an update and let you know if he is a reject or if he can see past it.
I just really want to chronicle this for anyone currently struggling. I know how terrible it was to be 19 and alone and ashamed and feeling like I would never find another man to love me ever again. And I really want to say, I too hate having to have the talk, but from my perspective, I just personally prefer to get it out of the way. The guilt I currently feel is worse than the fear of rejection. Please let me know if I can help you through this in any way!

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