So I have a new sex partner, but I just found out yesterday that I have Chlamydia. I've only had sex with my new partner 4 times and we've been protected each time. We have been very careful about it.

I know that the proper thing to do is to tell your partner if you contract an STD. However, I'm not living in a western country right now, and attitudes about STDs are completely different here. Information on them simply isn't available, and it's not a common thing for people here to get tested. If you test positive, you are shunned by the community. I feel like if I told him about my status it would make him hurt or angry and he possibly wouldn't want to see me anymore. There's also some complicated things involving our work and home lives that I won't get into here, but it makes it so if I told him about my positive result and he went and got tested too, then it could potentially be devastating for both of us. We could lose our jobs, families, I could be sent home, etc.

So honestly, how likely is it for someone to get Chlamydia if they use a condom properly every time? Is the risk really big enough so that I should put everything on the line and tell him? I really don't want to make him worry for no reason. The doctor I saw here told me to keep the information to myself, but I'd like opinions from people living in the western world. Thanks.

P.S. I've narrowed down the people I could have gotten Chlamydia from, and I'm no longer sleeping with or in contact with any of them.

Tanoshii,

When cultures are so different, it's difficult to offer advice about telling your partner. Obviously, it's always important for people to know if they've been exposed to an STD. However, if there's a major price to pay for being open, it may be in your best interests to treat the infection and be discreet. It's not likely your new partner contracted chlamydia from protected sex but nothing is ever 100%.

I wish there were a better answer and that I could offer you some advice that would be perfect for the situation but I fear none exists. How well do you know your current partner? Perhaps you could feel him out a little more before broaching the subject.

Dharma

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