I am single male, age 37. I met a girl who pre-sex advised me that 8 months ago she had intercourse with someone who was HPV-2 positive and had not had sex since then because of the scare. She stated she showed no signs or outbreaks of herpes and was tested and tests were negative

We had sex two weeks ago and last week, so 7 and 14 days ago, twice each episode (total of 4). Each time I wore a condom and within 30 seconds afterwards I washed my penis and groin area with soap and water, but not thoroughly, but enough to clean any body fluids away and toweled dried immediately each time we had sex. She did not show any herpes outbreak symptoms during our time together.

4 days after having our last episode she went to the doctor and told me that she was feeling irritation in her groin area that was uncomfortable. She felt that it may have been a reaction to the latex condoms as which has happened in the past. Two days later she called me and said that her doctor told her that she tested positive for herpes but the call was brief and I didn’t get the full details. I believe the test was a blood test.

I went to the doctor and got all the STD tests done to include HSV Serology Type II test at the time of the 4 days, but I know that the test was done to soon to detect if I got it from this episode. At least I can track back better with partners.

The whole scenario just seems odd to me honestly, her telling me beforehand of the exposure 8 months ago and not being infected from test reports and then only after sex she stated she was diagnosed with it within days of going to the doctor from the irritation. I suspect she had it all along and knew it (and hopefully has been treating it for sometime with medication). This was her way of not scaring me off at first...I think.

I’ve done my share of research on herpes; hours actually before this even occurred and even more so now. What annoys me with the all of the reading I’ve done is the use of words may, can, possibly, usually; all the vague words. I’m a poker player so I like percentages. The largest range of showing signs is 2-20 days, but on average it is 6-8 days from other reports. Viral shredding is just as much confusing to me about how you can catch it during non-symptomatic times. I completely understand though that the scientific world surrounding herpes is not an exact science and it has been tough to determine actual numbers because of the wide range of factors surrounding herpes (to include mis-reported info because of the society’s negative attitude towards herpes). But from personal knowledge of friends over the years when someone has it, they pretty much know it, mainly from the outbreak and can pinpoint fairly accurately where it came from.

I am not showing any signs (bumps, irritation, sores, headache, fly-symptoms, etc). I took all available pre-cautions considering the situation.

If I don’t show any symptoms currently or within the next month, what is my confidence level that I didn’t contract herpes, primarily HPV-2?
If I have sex within the next days/weeks/month with a new partner (not that I plan on it), do I need to tell them?
Should I plan in returning to the doctor's in a few weeks/months?
What are my next steps?

(I am not medically inclined, just a fellow member of the HPV & gHSV2 clubs, and this is my knowledge-)

Just a little clarification- H[b]P[/b]V is Human Papilloma Virus aka genital warts. H[b]S[/b]V2 is Herpes Simplex Virus 2, the one that prefers the genital region.

Considering Herpes symptoms can range from as minor as feeling like jock itch to full-blown lesions... But I would *think* that you should be relatively confident. I had my initial ob (full-on lesions and sores- NOT FUN) w/in 2 DAYS of sex with who so kindly shared with me, but never told me.
However, if I remember correctly, it is the friction (from intercourse) that shares HSV. Washing afterwards will not prevent transmission, even though the virus is easily killed with soap and water.
Depending on WHEN this girl was tested, the antibodies would not have shown up in her blood yet. If she was tested right after exposure, nope. If there was testing after 4mos, then yep. (either way, it is too late now to do anything about that...)

Wouldn't YOU like to be told right off the bat that your new partner was intimate with someone who had Herpes, and while you've never had symptoms and have tested negative so far, but the blood test takes four mos to show? Meanwhile, if that person decides to have a sexual relationship, forewarned is forearmed. YES, TELL THEM. Legally, no, I don't think you need to tell them. Morally, I would say so. Let them decide. (As Betsy I'm sure will recall, I didn't tell me new b/f right off the bat, and [u][i][b]HATE[/b][[/i][/u] that I waited as long as I did, but I finally did, and he was rightfully upset with me, but told me that it would not have changed anything, he still would have wanted to be with me.)

Yes, you should plan on returning to the Dr's to get re-tested. 4mos

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Dance like nobody's watching. Love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening. Live like it's Heaven on earth.

Well said. My wife and I went through a similar situation but were able to solve it by being brutally honest with each other. After 9 months of being together and no sexual intercourse, I was starting to wonder. There was obviously a profound interest and curiosity there, but nothing ever became of it. Eventually is was laid out on the table and we were able to formulate a plan for the future. Lynn hit hit spot on the head, tell the truth, its the right thing to do.

My perspective is pre-exposure:

A woman who whom I have become close confided to me recently that she's had genital herpes for about
10 years but fortunately has not had outbreaks in years, thanks to antiviral products.

We have engaged in a discussion of desired sexual practices via e-mail (she lives far from me, so it will be some time before we can meet again).

So, besides the obvious - wearing a condom during vaginal sex - what other precautions do I need to take
to avoid being infected, especially for oral sex (her on me) or "digital" (me manipulating her)?

have you been tested yet to know your own status Russ?

does your partner have hsv1 or hsv2 genitally?

If we assume that after all testing, you are hsv2 negative and she is hsv2 positive, if you do nothing but avoid sex anytime she has anything going on genitally, you are 96% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. Her taking daily suppressive therapy , using condoms and avoiding sex during symptoms ups your chances to 99% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. very good odds without a lot of effort.

can you contract hsv2 orally by performing oral sex on your partner? You can but overall the risk is low. Her being on daily suppressive therapy also lowers your risk and if you want even more protection, use barrier protection for performing oral. You can buy flavored condoms cheaply, cut them open and lay them over her genital area for oral sex. Much cheaper than dental dams as well as thinner too.

betsy

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Thanks for all this, Betsy. I mentioned digital because I wondered, is there is any danger from my inserting my finger into her vagina (other than perhaps infection through a cut on my finger)?

you can get herpes infections on your hands but the risk if they didn't have any symptoms and the skin on the finger was intact is very low.

betsy

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[quote="russ"][quote="betsyb1967"]have you been tested yet to know your own status Russ?

I got my results back today: exposed to hsv-1, not to hsv - 2

I e-mailed my girlfriend, who replied: If you have one variety, the chances of your getting the other are slim to none

Is that correct?

no it is not. hsv1 doesn't provide any significant protection against contracting hsv2.

betsy

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