Hi all - I'm new to this message board thing but I thought I'd join because it'd be nice to talk with people who may be in a similar situation as me.
I just found out I tested positive for hpv and I'm devastated - I've only had two partners and I feel just so down and saddened to have gotten something that seems like people are still trying to completely figure out and something that is in the gray area that your body may rid or not rid.
I'm so worried about everything - feeling paranoid - my boyfriend has been very supportive - but this has taken over my life where I can't focus at work, no interested in doing anything and I can't even sleep well through the night anymore. As common as this is and as there are many people who have and dont even know - it does not make me feel any better!
I have my biopsy scheduled soon - and I'm a nervous wreck - though my dr told me not to worry and to try to sleep well I still am worried. I tested neg in april with an abnormal smear and then a new dr I went to said I was positive but I changed drs because I didnt really like her bedside manner. So now I'm here with my 3rd dr who is telling me to chill and to take a blood test for hpv since he didnt get enough cells for my smear to test for it. He did not seem too concerned about knowing the results o
Oh gosh - I really feel like this year has been so horrible for me . . . now I'm paranoid about possible transmission of the virus orally - and I've only performed oral sex literally 3 times. What are my chances? Do I even want to know if I have it? Am I going to get cancer? Will I be able to live a normal life? How do I cope ? Am I ever going to get rid of this thing from my body? Should I stop having sex with my boyfriend? And if he is the one that has it - does it mean I'll always have this virus?
My throat is killing me and so sore - im so paranoid now and convinced that I have it in my throat and have cancer in my throat.
Sorry all - its hard when there is no one to talk to about this and everything always seems to explode and seem to be extremely frightening - I really dont handle stress well.
I've been trying to convince myself that having this virus is worse then having a bad allergic reaction to peanuts . . . or something else thats really horrible . . . .its just not working . . . *Sigh.