All these stories seem well and good, but I just feel like I don't ever want to date again or have sex again. It was hard enough for me to find AND keep a boyfriend with all my issues going on, but one more thing....makes it seem unlikely now. I have no desire! I dunno if it's because this is new, or will I always feel this way?

Confused & Broken~ I felt the same way you did when I was diagnosed but while I was having my second OB, I met my future husband. Don't give up hope, just try to live healthy and make the right decisions from this point on. Put yourself and your health first, then worry about finding a new man. He will love you regardless if he's truly the one!

Confused- I think we all feel tht way at first. Its natural, but once you start doing your research tht a lot more ppl than you think have herpes. I know 3 ppl who have it...but I'm sure there are actually a lot more tht probably just don't know it yet. I had a very hard time dealing with it for the first yr. But when I was diagnosed I was told tht the first yr is the worst yr bc you have your first OB which is usually the worst and you stress more and get more OBs. Once you kno your symptoms better and get a better grasp of how often you have sores or OBs things will get easier. You'll start feeling normal again and I've found tht reading other people's experiences still helps me now and I've had this disease for 3 yrs and I'm engaged now. Just read up on the facts and once you become more comfortable things get much easier. You aren't dirty or disgusting, things happen but it shouldn't change who u r on the inside. Good luck!

Hi,

I have told about 3 men so far. One's response was total panic. He refused to talk to me for a few months. He then came back and he said he read up on it and it is not such a problem. Yet, I said we need to use condom, but he threw it off and across the room. I refused to have sex with him after that for I did not want to infect him. He left for another woman very quickly. The 2nd guy I told is a friend for 20 years and was a boyfried 20 years ago. He still wants a relationship with me knowing he could get infected. He is willing to take all precaution. Yet, I do not want to have a relationship with him again for other reasons. The 3rd guy was through a dating service. I never met him yet, but told him on the phone in a confident voice and said "it is not life threatening and it is treatable." I said if we were to meet and like each other I would suggest that I walk through books and material at the library and will educate him on it. He seemed open to this. But when I arranged to have a meeting with him in my area, he made a comment, I dont like that street, I decided to hang up not because of what I disclosed to him, but he seemed rather rude". So not too bad to start.

Anita

Hi Betsy,

I registered on MPWH but I am having a hard time getting on to speaking with men there.

Anita

I can not help you with that issue. you'll need to contact them about that.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator