Hello! I'm a 38 yr old female who was diagnoised with HSV when I was 5 monthes pregnant with my 1st child ( 1997 ) Never even knew I had it! I've only been on suppressive therapy for 1 year. ( I take Valtrex 1 gram daily ) But I haven't had an outbreak for 2-1/2 years. Here's my problem! I had sex the other night with a guy I work ( my boss ) and the condom broke. ( He doesn't know I have HSV and I don't want him to know either! ) We finished ( which wasn't long after it broke; maybe a couple of minutes ) He washed up really well afterwords. He left the next day to go out of the country for 2 weeks. Now I'm terrified that he'll get it!! I've called every hotline and hospital in the area and have gotten mixed answers. So, here's my question...What is the percentage chance that he will get it? I've worried myself to the point that I can't sleep or eat. And I think now that I've caused myself to have an outbreak! Please help! Thanks

I don't think there's anyway to really know just how likely it is the partner contracted HSV. There are likely only a few days a year when the virus is active without symptoms (called asymptomatic shedding or rectivation) but there's no way to predict just when these days occur.

Taking Valtrex daily has shown to reduce transmission among discordant couples (one partner has genital HSV, the other does not) by about 50%, but it still doesn't address your situation and the "how likely?" question.

Discussing herpes with a partner can be difficult, for sure, but it's a good idea and we have a section of our Web site designed to help with this. For more go to http://www.ashastd.org/herpes/herpes_em ... onship.cfm.

Take care,
Fredo

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BigMistake ~

I think the whole point here is that you need to have a talk with your partners before you have sex with them. What's really at stake here is that you don't even know what his status for STDs is at all. I think sometimes people with herpes forget that's it's not only about them being honest about their status. It's just as important for you to remain as healthy as possible too. What I am getting at really is that you have a right to know his STD status too. He could have just about anything under the sun and you would never know it because you didn't talk about it and you didn't make a date to go and get tested together.

Hopefully you will learn from this mistake, talk to your future partners before you have sex with them, and insist that you know their status as well.

Hang in there,

Angela

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