I'm fairly new to this whole thing myself, but I will share with you what I do know, and one of the more knowledgeable
folks on this board will be around soon enough to give you more answers.
As for your question... "Can you be with someone for 13 years, have kids together and not get the disease?"
... I think the answer to this is Yes. Yes
you can be with someone for this period of time and not become infected.
I have seen other posts (on this board, I think) from people who have lived this experience. The one inparticular, that I remember, was from a man who is HSV-2 postive, married and had a child with a woman, and she still tests negative 15 years later.
The reason that this is possible is because the virus remains inactive for long periods, and may actually only be active as little as a few days per year. Which reduces the chances of exposure to the virus. And of course using condoms, taking anti-virals daily, and all the precautions help too.
I have had contact with my SO for 2 1/2 years, and didn't have any signs or symptoms until an intial outbreak last month. Turns out he had the good ole' fashioned type 1 virus that causes fever blisters... he hadn't had an outbreak in over 20 years and had no idea that those fever blisters were HSV. And by my fantastic luck, the virus must have been shedding. Just a crazy fluke!Now, does that mean that your ex-boyfriend is being truthful
- I really have no idea... but the scenario is possible.
I didn't know anything about the herpes virus until my little outbreak of "kitten pox" (giggles to herself). I was shocked to find the statistics regarding the percentage of Americans infected with type 1 and type 2.
I like to think of myself as knowing what's going on in the world, but I was clueless! Anyways, I hope this information is helpful. And if not, one of the gurus will be around to answer you shortly.
Best of Luck!