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PostPosted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:31 pm 

Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:20 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Phila
the answer i get from the doc's office is "anything is possible". so i'll ask here to see if anyone else could have had the same experience. my boyfriend cannot even imagine where he would have gotten herpes. i was attacked in october and 3 days after that, i was tested for everything and found clean. 3 weeks ago, 3 days before christmas, i started with a mild sore throat and then 102 fever. is it possible that i was tested too soon from the last guy to have it show up, that it could have laid dormant in my system and the high fever brought it out?

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 3:13 pm 

Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2007 11:21 am
Posts: 16
Location: USA
First you should really seek a infectious disease specialist doc. But given the info and research I have studied since me and my husband were told we have the HSV 1& 2. His first reaction was I cheated. We've been together 6 yrs w/child. I have not cheated. I work in the medical field and I have talked w/docs and have read much material regarding the virus. It can lay dormant for MANY MANY , MANY years and then just appear. Most of us are exposed as children by the HSV 1 (oral) by uncle Bob or Aunt Sue from kissing and not realizing they carry the HSV 1 type. It's a very tricky virus. It can then turn to HSV 2 if you have oral sex. Most people who have been exposed don't even know they have it. Hence transmission and I have been told we usually contract the virus from the one we love. It can be very devasting to a person or persons life. Believe me I have come to know. I am blessed I do not have symptoms but lately I have had some irritation after sex- so I will go see the infectious disease doc to make sure what exactly it is. Although remember everyones system is different that's why you should go seek a specialist.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:59 pm 
Site Admin

Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:08 pm
Posts: 2122
Location: North Carolina
Hi freeat53,

Welcome to our message boards; we're glad to have you join us.

We're very sorry to learn of what you've been through and can only imagine how difficult this is for you. If you think it might be helpful, The Rape, Incest, and Abuse National Network (RAIIN) is available at

It isn't clear if in fact you were tested for herpes, or how you may have been tested. In the absence of symptoms the best way is with a type-specific blood test for HSV, and sometimes it can take 12-16 weeks after exposure for these tests to detect antibodies for the virus in the bloodstream. It's often helpful for both partners in a relationship to know their herpes status. When symptoms are present on the skin, a swab (called a culture) of the area can be taken (best done within 48 hours of syptoms starting).

A person can have herpes for weeks, months, or sometimes even years before symptoms are noticed or a diagnosis is made. "Trigger factors" that lead to an outbreak can vary, and might include stress, illness, or even dietary components. It's usually difficult to know when, or from whom, herpes was diagnosed.

Read more about HSV in relationships, including ways to reduce the risks of transmission, by visiting

I hope this helps and please post again as new questions or issues arise.


ASHA Moderator

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 10:10 am 

Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2007 12:20 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Phila
Thank you for your replies. This is extrememly devastating to me. I was in a marriage for 20 years, 15 of them bad. I raised 3 kids , 2 of them special needs. All I ever wanted was a loving partner who could share the burden and the joys with me. I finally had enough gumption to leave him. When I decided to, I had an amazing transformation. I finally had hope in life. I lost the 70 pounds that had accumulated over the years because I stopped caring about myself. But when the divorce came, I was like a race horse out of the gate.

I've dated quite a few but only slept with several. So, even in the absence of symptoms, any one of them could have been carriers, right? I had a blood test the first time, but that was only 4 days after the attack. This time it was a culture and that's what was positive.

I just found out that my boyfriend's visa is expired and he will have to move back to England. Could things get worse? I guess I'm paying for my 7 months of happiness!

If anyone even wants to come near me in the future, is it safe for me to give oral sex to an uninfected man if I have only HSV 2?

What is the accepted protocol when dating someone new - tell them right off or wait until they mention sex?

Can sex ever be fun again? There was no sex in my marriage for @ 12 years, so you see why I was so eager - making up for lost time, I suppose. Only back before I got married, there was not so much of an emphasis on STD's so I came out into the world pretty stupid and got burned.

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