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National Cervical Cancer Coalition


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 Post subject: New to this...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:27 am 

Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3
I've been with my boyfriend (now my husband) for over three years, and we just got married almost two weeks ago. Monday night he told me that he's pretty sure he's had herpes for over 6 years. He said he's never been tested for it but that he's not an idiot and gets at least one outbreak a year. I couldn't believe he didnt tell me when we first started dating. He said he was scared to tell me because he was scared i would have left.

I was only 18 when we first met, so i can understand where he was coming from. He said he never touches me when he's having an outbreak and that he doesnt touch me a couple of weeks after just in case. But even i know that it is still possible for him to give it to me with out an outbreak.

I'm just extremely angry that he took away my right to decide. The past few days my emotions have been all over the place. My husband is getting tested on Saturday and once i have insurance i'll get tested as well. I only hope the insurance covers the test because i already called planned parenthood and its not cheap.

Im not going to leave my husband no matter what our results say. I truly love him and so does our 1yr old. Ive been reading everything i can find on herpes, and i know that i can handle living with it. Im just having some trouble accepting it right now....


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:03 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
I'm glad you found the message board :) This is a lot to go thru without having someone to talk to it about - even if it is total strangers on a message board!

Has your husband considered going on daily suppressive therapy if he does have hsv2 and you test negative for it? It would be the best way to protect you. Reducing your risk until you are done having children is a good idea. Just avoiding sex during obvious lesions like he's been doing is also very helpful - it reduces your risk to about 8-10% each year. Suppressive therapy would cut that in half. Condoms would also lower the risk - it's up to the 2 of you if you want to use them or not.

I can't imagine how frustrated you are feeling right now about all this. You would've thought that he'd trust you enough to talk to you about this long before this :( At least you know what you are dealing with now and can take active precautions to lower your risk.

Let us know how else we can help you :)

betsy

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:54 pm 

Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3
He said he's willing to do whatever it takes, but im almost positive i have it as well. In fact im pretty sure ive had it for the past 3 years and just blew off the symptoms as something else. It wouldnt be the first STD that he's given me. Im sure i was tested for STDs during my pregnancy. I know for a fact they tested me for HIV. This January was when all my real problems started. I've been getting yeast infections like every two months or so. (At least i hope they are yeast infections!)

Is the medication only for hsv2? He said he got it from oral sex.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 3:09 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
He needs to get himself tested to confirm that he only has hsv1. Yearly ob's for this long is more likely to be hsv2 than hsv1. Once you've both been tested and know who has what then you'll better be able to decide what precautions are needed.

betsy

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 3:12 pm 

Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3
Thanks for all the help. Its easier talking to someone who knows what they are talking about rather than a family member or friend who might judge....


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