Hi

I am a little confused and worried. Long story short, I had sex with my ex-boyfriend(we've been on and off for a year) Sat night without a condom. I've been taking Valtrex once daily and kinda pushed this disease out of my head, plus we were drunk. The next morning we had sex again w/o a condom. I figured he would already be infected from the night before. During our "relationship" we never used condoms. One night I was stupid and slept with this other guy with no condom-stupid stupid stupid!!! Well I think I got infected from him but I don't know.

On Monday I thought I got a bladder infection from the rough sex and went on antibiotics. Today, I thought I was better until I felt the burning and pain again and saw a red bump. My question is did I get this outbreak b/c my ex has herpes (& doesn't know)? If 2 people have herpes and no signs of an outbreak, if they have sex, can it cause a new outbreak?

Please help me.

If he's never been tested he'll need to be tested to see what his status is. Perhaps you didn't contract herpes when you think you did? Have you talked to him about your herpes?

If you do both have hsv2 - your infections are independent of each other. His herpes wouldn't cause you to have an ob or vice versa.


betsy

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ASHA Moderator

confusedinct,

Your ex may or may not have HSV2, that is independent of your experience of a new outbreak. It is NOT like a bacterial STI like chlamydia that can be killed off with antibiotics, you have the HSV2 infection in your spine for life, and it can break out and reactivate and infect someone at any time, just like cold sore 'tingles'. (If your ex DOESN'T have HSV, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want it now.)

Having sex seems to be one of the triggers for a new outbreak. (Other triggers include fighting off other viruses, menses, stress, heat, etc)

I'm willing to be corrected, but this seems to be one of the main ways that the virus propagates itself from person to person -- sexual activity seems to wake up the virus and you will get another ob, possibly from the virus 'reading' hormonal or other signs of sexual activity in your body. This is how the virus spreads itself to a new host -- at the start of a new sexual relationship. Since one sex act is often followed by a few more within a short space of time like a few weeks, this gives the virus an opportunity to travel back up from your spine, re-ulcerate and re-transmit itself to a new host, i.e. your partner. This is not surprising, as the virus is a complex DNA virus, and is sort of 'intelligent', i.e. has evolved and mutated to optimise its spread from host to host based on signals, much as a flea egg is activated by the vibrations of a passing animal and quickly hatch and attach itself, or a mosquito detects heat and CO2 emissions from hosts. It's no accident, nature doesn't leave much to chance.

Fortunately, apart from current (suppressive) anti-virals like Valtrex and Famvir, there are a host of new vaccines and antivirals being worked on which appear much more effective, hopefully available within a couple of years. Luckily, medical science has nearly reached a point where viruses can be better targeted and treated. Until then, hang in there, try to practice safe sex, and try suppressive therapy with Valtrex or Famvir when you are sexually active.

Hope this helps...

sexual activity has little to do with acitivating the virus. It's not more active in folks who are getting sex regularly than in folks who aren't getting any at all.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

This thesis of sexual activity precipitating an ob is under-reported on information websites and elsewhere, but I think I've seen it. The main reason I mention it though is that my only ever real outbreak occurred 6 months after infection within a few days after sex (the first time I'd had sex since getting infected), and every time I have sex (which is not often these days), I get extreme discomfort and prodromal-type symptoms for several days after -- which obviously takes away even more from the idea of sex as pleasurable. This is somewhat similar to what confusedinct is reporting also.

However, I normally experience mild prodromal symptoms every single day, year round, anyhow, being itching, tingling, inflammation, neuralgia, arthralgia, lymph node pain, but never any blisters -- several times a day. I'm not sure if this is a 'normal' reported presentation either, there are lots of variations on how the disease presents in people, based on genetic differences in immunity.

Anyhow, I think based on these kinds of anecdotal findings that it's something that should be considered for more investigation or research.

They done many swabbing studies in folks - there's never been a reported difference in the folks who were having sex regularly compared to those who weren't. That's why I said that.

If you are having symptoms daily - you probably have more than just herpes going on. Figuring out what is going on though might not be real easy - there are just so many things out there that can also cause issues. It's worth a further work up with your doctor if you are having this much discomfort.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

I'd like to take the opportunity here to stress that this is an example of the heterogenous presentation and problems associated with this virus. Similarly, some people infected with EBV (IM, glandular fever) -- another annoying herpesvirus -- end up with CFS that drags on for years, other people are fine after 6 weeks, whereas most people need about 1 year to recuperate with spells of tiredness. There is a huge amount of genetic difference in people's responses to diseases, and research is finding key differences in certain people's genes which make them more prone to expressing symptoms or not being able to suppress infections.

There is not much doctors can do for my symptoms, except to prescribe Valtrex or Famvir and wish and pray. The symptoms are all in accordance with this virus type, and can't really be complicated by anything else across the board like that. I am hoping things will die down by the 3rd anniversary, as this is the norm. The first anniversary lead to a stepwise reduction in symptoms, which were much worse previously. This is why you wouldn't wish this virus on anyone...

If you want to chalk it all up to herpes then so be it. I've only ever seen 1 person in 8 years of doing the herpes boards who thought that herpes was causing all their troubles who wasn't able to find a different reason behind it, get treatment and then feel "normal" again down yonder. Most practioners who specialize in herpes will say the same thing - it's the exceptional exception to the rule. Even if you have developed a neuraliga directly related to herpes - you need more than just the herpes antivirals to treat it. You won't break the pain cycle with just the antivirals - they only keep the herpes part of it under control -they don't help with the nerve related part of it. Have you seen a neurologist at all to try some of the medications that frequently are helpful? Are you doing anything like applying topical lidocaine to your genital area to help with pain?

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Yes, there's topical lignocaine which I very occasionally use when it gets really severe and annoying -- but I don't like having to do this sort of thing all the time. I suppose I could see a neurologist to treat the neuralgia via a specialist referral -- when I asked my GP about dealing with the pain in the first year, she just shrugged -- couldn't even recommend a topical treatment -- that's the state of primary health care training with this disease.

When it really hurts, it just inspires me to fire off more angry letters at Federal and State 'Health Protection' and 'STI Prevention' units in Depts of Health, asking why they aren't doing their jobs in warning the public about this disease in a campaign...

Just on this, I finally found a reference to it at the 'Better Health Channel':



So there appears to be some knowledge of this in the literature...