I am a 39 year old married male with two kids under 5 years old. I am pretty sure I have genital herpes judging by everything I have read online. I have had bumps in the past on my penis but it never occurred to me that it could be herpes. The last few times they look more like pimples with white centers. I thought it was poison oak or a rash. I was stupid to be so naieve (sp?). Since I have come to this realization, I feel like I am going crazy. Everytime I have an itch on my body, I think Oh god, it's everywhere. I know this is stupid. I am terrified of giving it to my kids. I don't think I could live with myself if I gave it to them. I wash my hands thoroughly before touching them because I was afraid of giving them poison oak. My big fear is that I give them a bath, I always use a washcloth with soap and I have never touched their genitals because the thought just disturbs me. Now I have washed them probably 25 times a day the last few days. My wife and I are not very active sexually, mostly because of a busy schedule. I have never taken any chances with sex, again, because I was afraid of it being poison oak. I know I need to see a doctor, but I haven't yet. I am somewhat paralyzed by fear, but I put up a good front. I have a fairly high profile position in the community and I am afraid of someone finding out. Also, I need to tell my wife, I know, I am afraid she will leave me and I will lose my kids. I am so confused and depressed. Sorry for unloading, but I don't know where else to turn.