( I am way too much of a goofball today for you to be telling me how well endowed your man is honey....lol ... proceed with caution! )
Have you two considered ordering condoms online that might fit better? Condomania you can actually custom order condoms according to his measurements. Also different companies make different styles. Half the fun could be trying out new condoms don't you think? ( ok sweetie it's time to play scientific experiment again...he he he tonight's brand is brought to you by joe condom - ready , set , begin!!! )
Have I said lube, lube and more lube yet?
They've never really done any studies that I know of that looked at transmission rates in a partner due to shaving. As you said though in theory shaving would create microscopic ( and sometimes not so microscopic if you shave like I do ) cuts in the skin that would increase risk. I'm more of a fan of body hair trimming myself but that's certainly a personal preference. He's been shaving up until now and it hasn't been an issue so it's up to you two if you think it's worth changing or not.
as for foreplay - sweetie you are not a biohazzard!!! Really unless you have some sort of fetish that makes your man putting on latex gloves ( of course my visual is him putting on those yellow cleaning gloves...he he he ) be a turn on why would you want to do it? If you two are into playing doctor that would be one thing but for everyday foreplay there's really not enough risk of contracting the virus on his hands to make it worth it. If he has open cuts on his hands then he shouldn't be manually stimulating you until they are healed - for the reason that normal vaginal flora isn't so normal if it gets inside an open cut on the hand more so than becaus eof the risk of contracting herpes on his hands.
All my long term relationships have been discordant relationships. All of my partners have left the same way they met me - hsv2 negative. I've been on suppressive therapy more than I haven't which has helped a lot ( never took a study to prove that to me ). My condom use is usually just in the begining of a relationship - once my man decides he's ok with the small increased risk they usually go out the door too. We have oral sex. We have manual stimulation. Because this board is pg 13 I'll skip the rest of the details
None of my other friends who have genital herpes and are in discordant relationships do anything more than that either - heck most don't even take suppressive therapy actually. You should be having fun in the bedroom - not always worrying about your herpes! You are doing all you can do to protect him. No need to break out the head to toe biohazzard suits for sex ( once again unless that turns you two on...he he he ). Relax