Sorry to hear that you've been having such a hard time with all of this
How were you diagnosed as having herpes? did you have a lesion culture and typing? do they know if it's hsv1 or hsv2? or are they going on a herpes igm blood test result only at this point?
What dose of valtrex do they have you on?
Yes indeed herpes can effect the nerves that control the bladder ( and the bowels ). It doesn't happen often but it does. It should get better within a few weeks. Until then continue to catheterize yourself several times a day ( though I think you have a catheter in again right? the kind that stays in 24/7 ). If you are getting a lot of pain again with the catheter being in all the time - it can be from bladder spasms - and yes they are painful! Try to let yourself relax ( pretend you are peeing - that relaxes the muscles in that area - the catheter will get the urine so you don't have to worry about peeing yourself ). They do have specific medications for that too so if the vicodan leaves you feeling too "spacey" or drugged - talk to your doctor about it.
has your partner been tested for herpes at all yet?