I just was told today that I have herpes and I told my partner, but now all I can think about is my sex life ever going to be what is once was? What can I expect in the future? I feel like my sex life especially is over.

Your sex life is not over by no means!!! The only way herpes interferes with your sex life is sometimes you just have to avoid sex and with medication - you can make those times few and far between even.

Do you know if you have hsv1 or hsv2 genitally? How were you diagnosed as having herpes? Has your partner been tested for herpes yet?

if you haven't already - be sure to check out the info here on asha about herpes along with the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com/freebook.html There is also a terrific patient counseling video to watch too on the site. Your partner should also do some reading to learn more too.

betsy

No way its your sex life over and bestyb is right, avoid sex during an outbreak and practice safe sex.

Also by finding out what strain you are infected with can help you determine the severity of outbreaks but in any case, the outbreaks become fewer and less severe over time. You may want to look into antiviral drugs like famvir and valtrex to help ease your outbreaks, reduce viral shedding and with Valtrex, it can help reduce transmission.

I know it's scary at first but things will get better and don't stress out too too much. Stress can initiate an outbreak.

I will check out the site and thank you for responding. I just can't believe my luck. I am in pain both emotionally and physically and just knowing there are others out there that will reach out and assist makes me feel so much better.

Thank you again for both of you nice enough to respond so far.

I have been one meds a few days but the pain is still there. How soon are they supposed to take effect? Should I call my doctor for new ones?

I still am waiting for which type I have. But does it really matter in the end? I still will always need to be careful.

How has this changed your life, or has it?



By the way, love the name Isis. Have a pair of Birks with that name. My favorites. Favorite goddess too.

Hey,

M favorite goddess too. True you will need to be careful no matter what type and it's hard to escape the H. Herpes is a very common virus and many people don't know they are infected. Sometimes herpes can mistaken for a yeast infection, scratch, red tender area but all of these are signs that herpes could be present. Sometimes, Tylenol, Aleve, or Advil can relieve the pain that you are feeling and reduce swelling.

Also keep in mind the first outbreak is the worst with future outbreaks becoming less frequent and less severe over time. Depending on the strain, you can estimate how severe the outbreak may be. HSV1 prefers the lips or what we call cold sores. However, in the genital tract many people have few if any oubreaks, less pain and less severity. It' is out of it's place of preference. This is vice versa for HSV 2 . it prefers the genital tract but loses it's punch on the mouth. Either way you still need to be careful.

When you know what type you have that can let you know what to expect and many people have HSV-1 (over 60 - 70 percent) so think about how common this is.

Depending on your meds, it depends. I use FAMVIR (1000mg in the morning and 1000mg in the evening for one day ) . This works well for me and I tolerate it pretty well. I also use episodic therapy so I only use it when needed. I also use the Zovirax ointment and for me it's soothing reliefand just helps me tolerate the outbreak.However on some individuals it is ineffective. My thing is attack it with everything I got when it appears and make peace with it when it temporarily destroyed

Valtrex is also an option and it comes in a variety of doses and has been shown to help reduce transmission and viral shedding. I have of couple of friends on Valtrex and they are fine with it.

If you don't mind, what is your dosage level of pill.? Are you taking 250, 500 or 1000 and how many days? Sometimes your doctor may try a lower dose to see how you tolerate it. If you are just on Zovirax cream, then ask if your doctor could prescribe Famvir,acyclovir or Valtrex. Famvir and Valtrex are newer. Give it some times and it take 2-4 weeks for your body to respond to the new medication and you body has to build up antibodies to fight the virus.Try not to get frustrated. Now here's a down home trick from my mom. EPSOM SALT BATH. ALL I CAN SAY IS WHOO-HOOO!!!!!!

I thought this would burn but it didn't. It helps to ease the soreness of a blister and it is quite relaxing. Just make sure you soap up before you get in the tub or you can't make soap suds in the bathtub

It has changed my life but only for the better. I know that sounds strange and I contracted it from the only guy I was with sexually. All it takes is one time. I have HSV1 and not 2 however, I am more aware of my triggers and I can usually tell when it's coming. I don't stress out about it because stress can bring on an outbreak and I also exercise and practice a healthy diet with yogurt (yummy) plus it's a good immune booster.Plenty of rest and relaxation and my motto is no matter what remember it wasn't your fault and you are a DIVA regardless. Herpes doesn't make you it is only a small part of you.

No don't get me wrong when I first found out I was shocked but it will get better over time. I still date and my new BF is totally supportive. We just got really educated on herpes and things to do to suppress and ease outbreaks. Mine are pretty mild but regardless an OB is an OB. I used a condom but that still wasn't enough to stop the transmission. (DARN YOU ORAL SEX LOL ). The guy that gave me the "Gift" still afriend so I also learned how to forgive and I even helped him get started on meds and a healthy diet . How ironic LOL.

I hope this helps and don't be afraid. Things will get better


PS- Keep taking the medication you are on but if you want to find out about others:

www.famvir.com
www.valtrex.com

Here there is information and Valtrex is running a special rebate on prescriptions. We are here to help and support you. So now that you know all my biz, you are not alone. You have over 900 friends on the boards to talk to.

SMOOCHES DIVA

zovirax cream isn't effective for genital herpes recurrences. It's not to be prescribed for it. It only heals ob's up half a day sooner than using nothing at all. It has nothing in it for pain relief either. did I mention the price of it too?

There are many different topical anesthetics out there you can use during an ob for pain relief. I prefer dermoplast spray myself ( the blue can, not the red can for the genital area ). It's nice because you can spray it on several times a day without ever having to touch your lesions. You can find it in most drugstores and walmart type stores. There also many cream anesthetics you can use too - just don't use any that also have a topical steroid in them too.

Back to the original question - if this is your first ob - it can take 2 to 3 weeks to run its full course. Which antiviral are you on? Since this is your first ob it should be acyclovir 400mg 3 times a day for 10 days, valtrex 1gm twice a day for 10 days or famvir 250mg 3 times a day for 10 days.

betsy

Oh yeah forgot about dermoplast (blue can ). The stuff is awesome and soothing

I have finally found out, it is type 1, which does make me a bit more relaxed since the reading I have done so far makes it appear less horrible. Isis, you still have ob's with type 1, so that may not be so true. I was on the adivore med for seven days with three times a day. I feel like the worst of it took a week, which was truelly horrible, but now with some of your advice, when the next one occurs, I will be better suited to handle it. I still have some lesions which may stay for a week or more, I assume, but the pain is mostly over, just sensitive. I have not been comfortable enough to exercise the way I would like which makes me feel bad because that helps reduce stress and keep me healthy, but I just don't want to keep it irritated if I don't need to. The doctor and I are pretty sure it was the fella's cold sore that did it and we had sex while there were lesions. I just thought it was hemmorids, which I never had either. But so far nothing has happened to him. He doesn't seem to be that worried about it, but I refuse to have sex again with him until I am more positive that the lesions are gone. Which is what all the reading says to do. I am trying to not take it to heart, thou, it keeps going thru my mind that I have an STD! One that I will never get rid of and will deal with the rest of my life and have to contend with repeatedly. It has been difficult not having sex, we are still new in the relationship and it was going so well. I look at everyone now and think, do they have it? How about them? I just can't believe the numbers of possible people that could/do but cannot imagine anyone I know with it, which makes it really hard to know that I do. I do feel dirty and disgusting, like a leper or something. I think maybe it is time to get counceling but I don't want anyone else to know. I cannot even think of telling anyone more than you two, my doctor and the fella knowing. I think that they will look at me differently, I think that I would have if it had been someone else telling me. No, I know that I would have. Herpes always seemed like the worst of the STD's for some reason. I was devestated when I found out. Ok, enough, Thank you both again, you have been great for me to have found for information and support.

About half of the folks who contract hsv1 genitally never get another recognizeable ob. Of those who do - the average is 1 additional ob the first year and then 1 ob every other year. Only a small percentage of folks with hsv1 genitally get ob's more frequently. It really shouldn't be a frequent visitor in your life hopefully.

The first ob can take 2-3 weeks or even a little longer to fully run its course. Avoiding sex until everything feels "right" down yonder again is the best idea. Your genital skin is still irritable from the herpes so a hot night of wild sex would just irritate it even more. If a month passes and you still don't feel "right" down yonder - be sure to follow up with your gyn to make sure you didn't have an overgrowth of yeast and/or bacterial occur with your 1st ob that further complicates things - it's pretty common for it to happen with us gals unfortunately.

If your man has hsv1 orally and you have it genitally - it's about as easy as it gets. Just avoiding sex during obvious symptoms genitally on yourself is all you need to do to protect him. He's unlikely to contract hsv1 genitally since he already has it orally.

It is A LOT to deal with mentally in the begining. Give yourself time and it should get easier. You really will wake up one day and realize that you forgot to think about having herpes the day before

betsy

To Juliet

Everything you thought when you found out, I thought too. You are not alone. It will get better and its ok. It could be worse. My boyfriend at the time didn't want to even look at me or talk to me when he found out.

Thank you for all caring enough to respond. I am already on the way to mental and physical recovery. All your help has only put me on the right road that much better. I am really glad to have found this site and you.

It's so nice to hear a person's voice through an e-mail. I understand both the emotional and physical pain you are dealing with because I was recently diagnosed with HSV-1 too. I had one outbreak two weeks ago genitally. The worst of my symptoms have been in my mouth, probably from oral sex but I'll never really know.
Did you get really bad lesions in your mouth? Mine have caused me considerable pain: extremely chapped lips, swollen glands and a sore throat that will not go away, and the tiny white clusters keep popping up. It's all inside my mouth (inside wall of my cheeks, inside upper and lower lips, and even the roof of my mouth) though not around my lips which is fortunate kindof because of my high profile job. I feel like I can't even share drinks with my friends or kiss until the sores heal. Do you happen to know how much longer it might take to clear up? I took one treatment of Valtrex for the full 3 days and it didn't help my mouth at all. The genital rash went away though but that was minor anyway. I just thought it was a rash. Good luck and take care of yourself. Apparently the majority of the world already carries this virus.

you shouldn't be sharing drinks or kissing until this is completely healed up. You are contagious until it's completely healed.

If this is a brand spankin new infection for you it can take about 3 weeks or so to run its course. Your doctor unfortunately didn't put you on enough medicine and at this point more medication isn't going to do much this late into the game. You need the full 1gm twice a day for 10 days round of medication for a new infection - they gave you the amount for a recurrence

Did they give you any numbing mouthwashes for pain relief? If not give them a call and ask for some if you are having problems swallowing. I know you posted before but I"m lazy today - did they do a culture that said hsv1 or is that just their visual exam diagnosis?

betsy

Yes, it's HSV-1 and my doctor took a culture. She checked my throat and just dismissed it. Honestly, that's where the problem has been. I had one minor outbreak genitally and it wasn't painful. My mouth on the other hand has been very painful. The sores keep reappearing. I'm worried that I won't be able to tell when it's safe and when I won't be safe. Even if the sores go away I still have it in my mouth. Who's to say I won't give it to somebody accidently by just french kissing let alone giving them a blow job. It's been over a month of sores inside my mouth. Doesn't that seem like a long time? I took the Valtrex, apparently too small of a dose, and it helped for the rash down there immediately, but my throat, gums, and, the inside of my cheeks are still infected. Do I now have to say I have HSV-1 every time I want to kiss someone since that's where my herpes is focused. What would you say/do?