Hello, I am new to this world... I found out almost two weeks ago that I tested positive for both HSV1 & HSV2, and I have been reading this board, as well as some of the links as resources.

I went to see a doctor because I had a possible UTI, and on the day of the appointment, I was in some serious pain, so she did an exam, and at that time she said "I *think* you have a herpes outbreak." She then proceeded to tell me that it wasn't presenting as it normally does, but that she was going to culture it and send it to the lab, as she simply wasn't sure. She asked me whether I had a new relationship - the answer is yes. She then proceeded to look closer and determined that I had a massive yeast infection and that the irritation was likely due to that, BUT she wanted to go ahead and test for everything since I was in a new relationship, and this was my first appointment.

I agreed, thinking nothing of it as she gave me a prescription for medication to clear that up. A few days later I woke up in screaming pain, and after calling the doctor, I was assured that it had to be a reaction to the 3-day Tetraconazole. I specifically asked whether anything else had shown up on my tests that could be the cause of it (through tears as I was in serious pain), and was told no, "everything in your tests came back clear". I was told to use warm compresses, let the medication escape... and then I would feel better. Okay, kinda, but not really so much.

Then exactly a week later I get the call from the nurse.

She asked me if I had ever had an outbreak before, if I had unprotected sex... besides my new guy (which was about a month prior to all of this madness), there was an accidental stupidness about 2 years ago, at which point I was tested. As I've learned from this board though, I likely didn't get blood tested for HSV1 or HSV2, so there was no telling. The nurse was as calming/nice or whatever as can be, she listened to me, she let me cry, she explained that it wasn't the end of the world, that it is manageable, that it is most important to KNOW. And she said it isn't necessarily your new guy, that this could have simply been dormant and never flared up. And that she said I would DEFINITELY KNOW if and when it flared up.

I then realized that I probably hadn't had a reaction to the damn medication, but that I likely was having my very first outbreak. I mean, that's my guess. I can't imagine that my stress level and sucky immune system would have protected or prevented an outbreak for 2 years, and just poof, all the sudden I had one. Or that I just had an allergic reaction. Does that seem realistic?

Sorry for rambling... I'm having a hard time cycling through the emotions now, I'm dealing with this alone at the moment because my guy is out of the country and not available via phone except for a few minutes at a time. I've mostly been dealing with this by reading a lot.

I guess my questions are... is it really that likely that I could have suppressed this for 2 years? That I got it from my unprotected accidental stupidness and never had an outbreak. Which means, I probably gave it to my new guy.

Or is it more likely I got it from my new guy, because he didn't know? And that the "allergic reaction" was my very first outbreak. Timing wise, first unprotected encounter was just over 4 weeks to the day of the "allergic reaction".

I told him what the doctor had said initially, and he assured me that he was a careful guy, that since his last doctor's visit (where he wasn't positive for anything) that he had only been with 1 other person without a condom. I know he believes what he said, but unless he was specifically given a blood test at that visit, OR after his other girl, or after me... he has no real idea.

I have gone through the "OMG I gave it to him" "He'll never want me now" "Guess the engagement is off" "Is there that much love in the world" to "WOW I got it from him" "That MF" "No one will ever want me now"... and now I just don't know how I'm feeling.

He is back this weekend, and coming to see me, and I am stressing like crazy at how to have the conversation... because I know he'll want to get cozy with me right off the bat. Do I put the brakes on it and tell him? Do we not go to my house because I now have an obligation to tell him first? I'm more so thinking I got this from him based on the timing -- am I crazy for thinking that, because he should have told me or protected me? If that's the case, does it matter if we are intimate, and then I tell him... like after Valentine's day? Chances are high that we both have this... does any of it matter now?

I'm so conflicted. He's making plans to move here, and has been writing me about that, and about being a father to my 2 kids, and how much he wants our life together. I love him. He loves me. And I'm scared.

*The New Girl* aka B

Do you know what testing you had that came back as +? Did you have blood testing done, lesion culture? Do you know if it came back as hsv1 or hsv2+ ?

definitely once your man gets back home, he'll need to arrange for type specific herpes igg blood testing to see what his status is. condoms only reduce the risk of transmission of hsv2 by 30-40% so just because someone uses condoms, doesn't mean they don't have herpes. also you can transmit hsv1 from the oral area to the genital area through oral sex. if you haven't talked to him about this yet, you definitely need to have this discussion this weekend. I also don't recommend sex at this point if things are still irritated down yonder.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Hello... the lesion culture came back negative, so that did turn out to be serious irritation from the yeast infection that I had, but it was the bloodwork that came back as positive for both hsv1 & hsv2. I asked for copies of the test results, and was told that I can pick up a copy at my next appointment, but they called in a prescription for Valtrex for me today as I told the nurse that it was very unlikely that I would be able to manage my stress level, and wanted to do whatever I can in order to minimize the chance of another outbreak.

He's hopefully not going to be stuck in weather-related travel problems trying to get out of town, and down here to see me, because I really want to have this conversation with him in person... if only I can figure out how to start it. I'm really worried about how it is going to go in light of the plans we have been making - although I guess for the last week of letters and our few minutes of phone calls, he has been more making the plans and I've just been listening quietly.

Stress has absolutely nothing to do with how many herpes ob's you will have.

Call them again today and ask them to just read your hsv2 igg results to you and write them down. they should be able to do that.

Just be open and honest with your partner. let him know that this is the first time you've had anything like this, the testing you have had done so far and what testing he needs done. Even though you can't be sexual this weekend, you can still be romantic and have intimacy ( intimacy is different from sex! ).

betsy

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ASHA Moderator