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National Cervical Cancer Coalition


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 8:38 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 5:55 pm
Posts: 4
Location: Atlanta
My boyfriend of about 2 years recently had his first outbreak. He contracted herpes from a woman he was intimate with before we met. We want to move to the next step which would be being intimate. Based on the research I have done, there is only a slim chance I could contract it as long as we take the appropriate precautions (daily supplement, abstinence during outbreaks and/or condoms). Right now he is struggling believe this which is understandable since this only happened a month ago. Am I being naive to think we can have a meaningful sexual relationship and then in the future have kids? I have even read about the chances of our children getting it which is even less than me but again with the appropriate precautions. I would be interested to get some advice and hear stories from people who are in a similar relationship.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:29 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
what testing have you both had done so far?

betsy

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 5:56 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 5:55 pm
Posts: 4
Location: Atlanta
I know he has been tested for herpes and it was confirmed. He is planning to get tested for other STDs to make sure he does not have anything else. I have not been tested. I have not had sex before, so I know I have nothing.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 11:22 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
If you two did nothing but avoid sex anytime he has genital symptoms, you have a 8-10% risk each year of contracting hsv2 from him. If he takes daily suppressive therapy, your risk is cut in half. If you also use condoms properly along with those precautions, you have a 2-3% risk each year of contracting hsv2 from him.

Absolutely no reason why you wouldn't have a completely "normal" sex life together because of herpes.

keep asking questions!

betsy

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PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 8:47 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 5:55 pm
Posts: 4
Location: Atlanta
Thank you for the information. It does seem completely managable. I actually have an appointment with a nurse to talk about this in more detail and to get the long list of questions I have answered. Do you have any advice for me on how to help support him through this? I can definitely can see why they say the emotional side effects are more difficult to manage than the health effects. He feels diseased right now. I still the exact same man I have been with for almost 2 years.


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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 4:43 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
give him some time to work through this in his head. Even though he's had this and never realized it, it's still an adjustment for him. let him know you are there for him to talk to anytime he needs to and let him know that you've been educating yourself to work through this together :)

I'll gladly answer whatever questions you have. Depending on where you are going to talk to someone, they might not be as informed as we are around here.

betsy

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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 3:39 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 5:55 pm
Posts: 4
Location: Atlanta
Thank you. I actually just got back from my appointment. The nurse confirmed the information I was reading was accurate and I got clarification on a few things I was not quite sure about. It did make me feel better to talk to a health care professional about it. She made me feel more sure that he would not give it to me as long as we do take the appropriate precautions. Still not 100% guartanee but slim. Definitely feel more sure that our children will not get it. She even told me that she has a woman who has been married for 20 years and her husband has never had symptoms. If I can get him through these initial feelings, I think we will be fine. I wish there was more I could do for him.


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