ASHA STI Message Board
It is currently Tue Jul 29, 2014 7:44 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours


 

National Cervical Cancer Coalition


Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 32 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: need some support
PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:41 am 

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:29 am
Posts: 27
Location: OH
I have been divorced for seven years in those seven years have contracted two std's hpv and now herpes, I feel so dirty and ashamed. How do I go on and have a normal life? how do I go on and find anyone who is going to want to be with me? The last relationship I was in I told him I had hpv and he said he had the same virus we used condoms until he decided to not put one on without me knowing it until we were done making love I found out with did without protection then around 10 days later I had pain urinating went to the ER test for urinary infection gave me meds but it didn't clear up so went to family doc because now I also had different symptoms she did a internal exam and culture..came back herpes2 and told me and my bf that either one of us could have given it to each other, a month later I went to the OBGYN for my pap and talked to her about herpes she said with the major outbreak I had that my bf gave it to me...my bf and I broke up(not over this, but his anger) when we broke up he called me a slut and whore...sigh...I live with those words embedded in my head...I am not neither, but I am so depressed..help!!!


Last edited by scarednalone59 on Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:53 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
welcome to the board!

what type of hpv were you diagnosed with? did you have an abnormal pap with a + hpv test or did you have obvious warts?

what testing did you have done to diagnose your genital herpes? did you have a lesion culture that came back as hsv2+, blood testing or what? did your former partner go for type specific herpes igg blood testing to know his status?

Obviously your former partner was angry about the possibility of having 2 std's himself and said what he did because he could. You are only making him have far too much power in your life if you really believe what he told you. Both hpv and herpes are incredibly common and honestly most folks should be more surprised if they don't get one of them than if they do. I'm guessing you'd never think poorly of yourself if you got a wart on your hands or feet so why think poorly of yourself because it's genital that you have your hpv infection? same with genital herpes - odds are you wouldn't think your grandmother was a naughty girl for having cold sores - why think differently about yourself because you have your herpes genitally instead of orally?

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:00 pm 

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:29 am
Posts: 27
Location: OH
I had the warts and went to OBGYN ....my doctor did the lesion culture and came back herpes2

was my doctor right on him giving it to me since I had a major outbreak when I have never had it before? I go to OBGYN once a year for pap


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:21 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
A pap test doesn't test for std's- you need separate testing for them. you can't tell if it was a newly acquired herpes infection or not just by the looks of things. if you had blood testing done for herpes at your appointment it can help narrow down if this is newly acquired or not.

how long ago were your warts? if they were more than a year ago , odds are you've cleared the virus and it's gone from your body.

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:18 pm 

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:29 am
Posts: 27
Location: OH
Hi Betsy
I had the warts in 2007 and yes, its cleared itself, but I still felt that I should tell my partner what I had even thou I had no symptoms in three years. I was upfront and honest with him and he told me he had the same..it was he who took it upon himself to not wear a condom(without me knowing until we were done making love grrrrrr) I was upset!! his comment was we share the same virus, but now I feel that he doesn't know what he had, because when we found out back in Aug. he was with me at the ER and went with me to the doctors and he wasn't upset, hurt about the news..it wasn't until I broke up with him he called me those names he wanted to work things out with me, but I will not accept anyone calling me those awful names or anything of that sort saw his true colors his anger...now I am alone with this virus and trying to cope, worried about the future...complications? acceptance?
I have been divorced for seven years in the seven years have had two relationships and they both have given me an STD, but herpes is the one that really worries me...health wise and acceptance
Thank you so much Betsy for helping me and others


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:58 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
just make sure for future partners when they say that they had hpv too, you find out how long ago it was and such. you can get multiple hpv infections so if their hpv was recent, be sure to make sure you are properly using condoms with the partner ( condom goes on when the clothing goes off, not just wait to apply it prior to penetration ).

No long term complications to having genital herpes. you might also want to follow up with a type specific herpes igg blood test so that you know your complete hsv1 and hsv2 status. you need that info so that you and future partners can make educated decisions together about what precautions to use. also did you cover your other std testing bases too from this partner since it was unprotected sex?

Sounds like you are dealing well with moving on from someone who would treat you poorly! Sucks that it happened but better to get mad about it and get rid of them than it is to sit around thinking that maybe they are right! low self esteem is much harder to live with than herpes if you ask me.

keep asking questions! I'm only going to be around sporadically the next few days but I do try to stop in when I have the time.

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:45 pm 

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:29 am
Posts: 27
Location: OH
thanks Betsy!!!

No long term complications to having genital herpes. you might also want to follow up with a type specific herpes igg blood test so that you know your complete hsv1 and hsv2 status. you need that info so that you and future partners can make educated decisions together about what precautions to use. also did you cover your other std testing bases too from this partner since it was unprotected sex?

I am not going back to my obgyn for testing, I will go to the health department in Feb. for std testing...I have heard its best to wait six months for full testing?? I am not looking to date anyone now, just trying to learn as much as I can about herpes and go on from there.

thank you again Betsy
have a great weekend!!!!


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:18 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
typically the health department doesn't do herpes igg blood testing.

you can get tested for gonorrhea and chlamydia anytime after 1 week post encounter. syphilis anytime after 6 weeks. herpes and hiv after 3 months. no need to wait 6 months for testing. Bad enough you have to devote 1/4 of a year to waiting for all testing to be done, don't need to make it a half year!

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:55 am 

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:29 am
Posts: 27
Location: OH
Thanks Betsy

do you know if some or all health insurance's cover full std testing?


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 10:41 am 
Site Admin

Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:08 pm
Posts: 2122
Location: North Carolina
Most insurance plans offer some coverage for STD testing ordered by a health care provider, but you'll have to check with your carrier for specifics for you plan, of course.

I think sometimes the way the clinic codes the tests can affect reimbursement, so ask your doctor or nurse about whether or not such testing is typically covered for their patients. They should be savvy about all that.

Fredo

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 10:58 am 

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:29 am
Posts: 27
Location: OH
will call on Monday and go from there

thanks Fredo


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 1:11 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
yes definitely the way they code it has a lot to do with it. if you say you just want to be responsible and get std testing, it often isn't covered. If they say you have discharge and std testing is needed, then it's often covered. Makes no sense that being sexually responsible costs more!

your health department can do all but herpes testing for you at a low or no cost too :)

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 4:40 pm 

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:29 am
Posts: 27
Location: OH
***how long ago were your warts? if they were more than a year ago , odds are you've cleared the virus and it's gone from your body.****

Been doing some reading on asha do all hpv strains high risk and low risk work the same way?...cleared from the body or do they or some just lay dormant until the immune system is weakened and reappear to cause issues??

my concerns are that as I age and immune system weakens for some reason that these viruses will cause me harm..reactivate all at the same time


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:14 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
you can cross that off of your list of worries :)

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: need some support
PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:29 am 

Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 12:29 am
Posts: 27
Location: OH
Thanks Betsy!!!! :D


Top
   
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 32 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group