ASHA STI Message Board
It is currently Wed Apr 23, 2014 10:43 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours


 

National Cervical Cancer Coalition


Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 10 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: New Questions
PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:52 pm 

Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:51 am
Posts: 6
Location: Midwest
So here is my story in short. I had a boyfriend (I am female) of 5 years, and I cheated on him. Once with protected sex, and three times unprotected, all with the same guy. I got a herpes outbreak on my birthday, I got it swabbed and it tested positive for HSV-2. I did give him oral sex the next day, but I have never seen any sores on the outside of my mouth, and none really in my mouth except for the extreme sore throat I had during the initial outbreak.
What I have been wondering is about my sexual contact between "boyfriend" and "other guy." The other guy then got a full STI/STD screening and everything came back negative, including the herpes test (which was blood since his outbreak had gone away).

As far as sexual contact goes, I have read the book that has been suggested on here many times. "The Good News About the Bad News".... I have a few questions.
--If I give oral sex to "other guy" who has HSV-2, can I get it orally? Or does it work the way that I thought I read, and I can't really "get" it again, so the virus will mainly be genital? And same for him, if he were to perform oral sex on me (not during outbreaks of course) would he "get" herpes again, or get oral herpes?
--Can I perform oral sex to the "boyfriend" without giving him herpes?
--What about kissing? (With boyfriend, other guy, or just anyone?)
--I have been messing around/sleeping with the second guy since we both have found out we have it, while I am trying to work things out with the boyfriend... I just don't know what my limits are.
--If I have anal sex with the "other guy" (really ignorant question coming up...) is it possible to get herpes "in" or around my buttox? I know that it follows the nerve, but basically is it possible to "infect" again?

Any advice you can give me straightforward about sexual contact with someone who has HSV2, and someone who doesn't, would be greatly appreciated. I have felt so lost and alone. :cry:


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 5:40 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
well that was the suckiest bday gift ever eh? :(

I just want to clarify the testing of your partners first because I think I am confused. Your regular bf - has he been tested and what is his status? Your occasional partner was tested and negative on blood testing but had had symptoms?

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:32 pm 

Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:51 am
Posts: 6
Location: Midwest
The old boyfriend has yet to be tested, he is going to wait the 3 months, which he is a bit shy of so far. But after fessing up to cheating on him (twice), he would have no reason not to tell me if he had cheated. He was a virgin when we started dating, so anything he would have gotten would have been from me.

The other guy did show symptoms at the same time I did, which is why we assume he has HSV-2 since that's what my swab test tested positive for. He is still unsure who he could have gotten it from.. But his blood did test negative-but definitely had symptoms.


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 7:44 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
if your other partner tested negative for hsv2 on the igg test , he got it from you. have you ever been tested for herpes before to know your status prior to this?

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:19 am 

Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:51 am
Posts: 6
Location: Midwest
No I had not. But after 5 years in an exclusive relationship, we figured it was from him since he had had sex within two months prior to me, which might have been too soon to tell with the test even after my exposure to him. if I had gotten the blood test as well as the swab, it might have been able to tell me if it was a recebt infection, but at the time a swab made more sense.

For me to have to had it before hand, wouldn't I have shown symptoms within 5 years? And I had never had sex with anyone more than once, or unprotected before the relationship.

Regardless of who gave it to who (which I suppose doesn't matter as much anymore since both of our past partners are getting tested), how do I deal with the questions in my initial post? I don't want to make a bad situation worse.


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:21 am 

Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:51 am
Posts: 6
Location: Midwest
(Apologies for the typos, I'm on my phone!)


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:39 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
--If I give oral sex to "other guy" who has HSV-2, can I get it orally? Or does it work the way that I thought I read, and I can't really "get" it again, so the virus will mainly be genital? And same for him, if he were to perform oral sex on me (not during outbreaks of course) would he "get" herpes again, or get oral herpes?

if you have hsv2 genitally, you aren't likely to contract it orally later on. just err on the side of caution and don't preform oral on him when he has active genital symptoms or vice versa to err on the side of caution.

--Can I perform oral sex to the "boyfriend" without giving him herpes?

you should consider a type specific herpes igg blood test to see what your hsv1 and hsv2 status is. same with he'll also need tested to have a full picture for you both. if you only have hsv2 genitally, no risk for you performing oral on him.

--What about kissing? (With boyfriend, other guy, or just anyone?)

if you only have herpes genitally, kissing isn't an issue

--I have been messing around/sleeping with the second guy since we both have found out we have it, while I am trying to work things out with the boyfriend... I just don't know what my limits are.

well at this point you know what you have and are assuming that he has hsv2 too. I'd confirm his infection just to err on the side of caution. over half of people who are infected with hsv2 would've tested + on the igg tests 2 months into infection if he had it first. at this point he can repeat his blood test in another month or should he get a return of symptoms, he can be seen within 48 hours of their appearance for a lesion culture and typing to confirm his status.

--If I have anal sex with the "other guy" (really ignorant question coming up...) is it possible to get herpes "in" or around my buttox? I know that it follows the nerve, but basically is it possible to "infect" again?

you already have herpes in the entire genital area and anal area. You won't get it again or worse.


betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:44 pm 

Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:51 am
Posts: 6
Location: Midwest
Thank you so much for your help. :) We should all be repeating our tests within the next month or so. But this helps clear some things up.


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:30 am 

Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:51 am
Posts: 6
Location: Midwest
So, I'm a horrible person am going to hell. I have since broken up with my boyfriend because he "simply doesn't want a relationship right now." I do believe him, and that he would consider a relationship with me when he was ready for one. But the bad stuff is terrible... Since the breakup less than a month ago, I seem to be making reckless decisions that have never been typical before. I never got drunk until I was a few months into age 22, and never "really" drunk until a month before 23 (less than 6 months ago). With the recent events and poor decisions, I had sex while I was terribly drunk, with two people. I barely remember what happened... The one guy had tried to have sex unprotected, but he was unable to get an erection and ended up going down on me. There may have been genital contact, but most likely brief and not very abrasive.. The second guy simply had sex, with a condom.

I had taken acyclovir suppressive therapy after my outbreak therapy for two months directly after my initial outbreak, but had finished the two months about 3 weeks or so ago. I did not have an outbreak at the time. The guy who had performed oral sex for a few seconds said "I sometimes feel random burning sensation in crotch area, and I probably have it in my mouth too." He said this earlier today, which was roughly 60 hours after contact. Is it possible for him to have my HSV2 both orally and genitally? Or is he paranoid? Or could he have gotten it genitally and just be feeling cold symptoms from the infection..? I'm mostly concerned that he could have it both places even though I had previously thought that once you were "infected" you wouldn't get infected with the same virus twice... He is going to the campus health clinic tomorrow afternoon and I told him if he had noticeable symptoms to get a swab test since a blood test would probably be too soon. Did I give the right advice? The other guy I have not spoken to.. I feel miserable I let myself not be in control to make a decision that I know would have prevented this.


Top
   
 
 Post subject: Re: New Questions
PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:02 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
the odds that you transmitted hsv2 to a partner orally and genitally after a 1 time protected encounter is very low. at this point he'll need to follow up with his provider as he plans to do. I do suggest he get a type specific herpes igg blood test if they offer it just because odds are he's never had one before and you do want to know his status in case he's already had herpes and didn't know it.

betsy

_________________
ASHA Moderator


Top
   
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 10 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group