Is there really no therapist that do HSV counseling??? I contacted a local H+ group and I got kicked out of the group for asking for a therapist.. they all thought the school of hard knocks was a better idea. Are therapist so bad they are the devil when it comes to HSV..???

j.

any therapist can help deal with chronic illness and difficulty dealing with a diagnosis.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Hi J,

I was just reading your bad experience about a support group. I can relate to you, a lot of power of abuse goes on those support groups because the facilitators who run these group often take advantage of us because we are putting ourselves in a very vulnerable situation going into a group of people you don't even know. There are many reasons why these unhealthy dinamics happen. Possibly, the people in the group have formed a click which is not good because it can make newcomers feel unwelcome. Also, depending on who the facilitator is, you are leaving yourself wide open to abuse of power with some of them. My suggestion, before you join a group, try to get to know the facilitator before you begin. Try to form a blog online in order to get feedback from others with similar experience. Then you can take action of abuse of power in a support group. I don't know which level of government you need to go to but it will be very empowering for you to do a lot of research and what the amendments for abuse of power in America is all about. Here in Canada, we have the Charter of Rights and Freedom where noone is allowed to discriminate. Also, we have the Constitution like our Amendments in the United States. Lets get our power back instead of leaving it up to any organization who are trying to take away our rights. Often, after you speak with a facilitator or a clinic, you will see the "ques" based on their concern and support toward you. Any "Red Lights", may a note of time and date. This will be a beginning of taking action.

I have had a similar experience in the only support group here in Toronto. It is called the Phoenix Association. The guy who facilitates it makes you feel he only wants your money and doesn't give a dam about me. I tried calling him and asking if there are any therapist in Toronto who counsels people with HSV. He said he is the only one in Toronto who is a therapist for HSV and charges $25 per hour. Right up front, he is thinking money instead of him helping me find someone else. Then I ran into a member of the group and she said there are more than one therapist who deals with this problem in Toronto. She gave me the name of Hassle Free clinic in Toronto. I sometimes go there and there are several councellors there to help people like us. And it is free.

What a money rakid for vulnerable people like us. My suggestion is to look for someone who is worth the time and money involved. It is too much of a price to pay for someone abusing their power and expertise. when I went into the support group, all he was thinking of is that I should join and it will cost $35 a year. Money again. Uum. I like to know which group you had this problem at. I am starting up a blog discussion forum with others who are experiencing the same thing so I can form a petition to the government of this ongoing problem.

Betsy, see what I mean, remember I told you I had a problem with this facilitator and I never got a response from you. What is going on with ASHA. Do you all know the same people in support groups that are abusing these power? I need to know more info on how asha is in contact with these facilitators in herpes support groups across Canada and the United States.

Oh J, if you need to talk to me, please email me at anitaqaquet@sympatico.ca

Anita

ASHA doesn't run or oversee support groups, but we do provide listings for a number of them as a service (we get many requests). Each group is independently operated so there isn't much we can tell you about how they operate.

Therapists and counselors aren't trained as HSV specialists per se. The right therapist can depend on a lot of factors: someone who specializes in sexuality is a good choice for some, but for others a more general practitioner will be fine. Even social workers sometimes are trained and certified to provide counselors. Some clients need medication, in which case a psychiatrist can help; sometimes non-MD therapists have a relationship with physicians who can manage medications etc etc.

The point is the choice of a therapist involves many things, and it's not a one size fits all kinda deal. If you have a primary health care provider, talk with them first. Tell them what's on your mind and see if they can help directly, but also ask if they can offer you a referral.

Hope this helps,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Hi,

I find it hard to understand why therapists and counsellors wouldn't be trained to help people with any sti problems. What is wrong with the system?

Anyway, I don't feel comfortable with my doctor in opening up to him about my concern.

So therefore, I am left astounded with disbelief that there is no one to go to other than using ASHA in your support on this matter.

Any other suggestions.

Thanks,

Anita

We don't have therapists specifically trained in helping people deal with psoriasis either but anyone of them can handle counseling someone with all the issues involved with walking around with a very visible disease and the changes in your sexuality because of it. Honestly it's general issues that they help you with, you don't need specific help with herpes itself when you see a therapist about problems living with genital herpes.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Hi Fredo and Betsy,

I just enquired if there are any other clinics in the city that offer sti councelling. I contacted aids and sexual health hotline here in Toronto, and they have several lists of clinics that provide councelling on this matter. They gave me a few addressess and numbers. I just found one nearby me that has a drop in clinic in the evenings for women only for any sti (we call it sexual trainsmitted infections) concerns. But thanks for helping me. I think I may have misunderstood your suggestion Betsy. Apparently, I was told by the hotline that these clinics do have councellors that help with people with my concern. So I am going to go there next Tues., and will see how it is.

I will let you know how it goes.

Anita

WOW, I think having a sexually transmitted virus does need its own counselors. Sexuallity is at the core of who people are, this is a forced sexuallity changed, much like being forced to be gay or straight. This is not even close to a chronic non-contagious virus, it's miles away.

The therapist I did see said no big deal just tell them on the second date, WTF ?? No regard for rejection and all the other issues. Honestly, how clueless... pfffft...

One size doesn't fit all, but that statement didn't even know if she was a shoe or a hat...

This group should work towards getting accreditation for therapist, clearly.
J.

I think what's helpful is for a counselor or therapist to have an appreciation of some of the common issues that accompany any STD diagnosis, especially those that can't be cured by taking a couple of pills and not having sex for a week.

It's not so much, to my mind, that they are STD or herpes specialists but that they understand people are worried about current and future partners, and all the negative messages we get around sex and STDs anyway (which are all silly anyway, because pretty much if you have sex you get an STD at some point).

Those are the kinds of things we try and get across to health professionals of all types in our education materials. Is that what you're looking for?

Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

How are you going to know if your therapist has “an appreciation of some of the common issues” or not??

How are they going “understand people are worried about current and future partners, and all the negative messages we get around sex” if they have no clue why on earth would we be worrying about that??

Do you bring a few pamphlets with you to your first session and have them look at it them and then expect them to have good counseling strategies?

Simple platitudes do not make life building skills. I am really shocked and disheartened that there is no specialization in STD’s for therapist, it’s crazy.

Thank you for the feedback though, a conversation is at least a start