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PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 11:00 pm 

Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 10:41 pm
Posts: 2
Hello, I have been dating a girl who has vaginal herpes. She hasn't had an outbreak in awhile. I want to know if I can get herpes on my mouth if I finger my gf and then taste the cum off of my fingers? Any help would be great, thanks.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:44 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
You aren't likely to contract herpes orally from licking your fingers like that.

Does your gf have hsv1 or hsv2?

Is she on suppressive therapy?

Have you been tested to know your own status?

betsy

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 11:19 am 

Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 10:41 pm
Posts: 2
Thanks for your response. I have been dating her for little over a month. I am not really sure if she has HSV 1 or HSV 2. I know she just has genital herpes. Is there one that I should be more concerned about and not lick my fingers after she cums. She got herpes two years ago and hasn't had an outbreak in awhile. She is not on any type of therapy for it.

Also is it true that if my mom or dad had herpes when I was born that the chances of me getting herpes is slim.


thanks

J. R.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:28 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
Your parents having herpes gives you no protection against herpes as an adult.

You need to be asking your gf the questions I asked you. You need to be getting tested to know your own status too. You two can't make educated decisions about sex until you know who has what.

Have you read the herpes info on the main asha site yet to learn more? How about the herpes handbook info at www.westoverheights.com?

betsy

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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 11:22 am 

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 9:21 pm
Posts: 4
Location: United States
Hi Betsy, new poster here with related questions: I was newly diagnosed with genital HSV-1 a year & a half ago via culture of the lesions. At that time of the initial o-b, I had multiple red open painful blisters in the anogenital area. I had never had any symptoms of anything before that or since, either genitally or orally. As far as I know, I am just genitally affected. I am not on daily suppressive therapy. But I have had 1 tiny pimple for the past week on the upper labia, not near the initial o-b site, with no tingling at any time. I don't shave but still assumed it was or at least could be just an ingrown hair, heat bump, or something else non-herpes because it had no resemblance to a herpes lesion and was not tingling or red or near the sites of the first lesion. Anyway, last night I engaged in what I thought was "safe sex" meaning I let someone finger me a few times. This person had previously told me that they had never gotten cold sores. As far as I know, they have no STIs although we have not had that conversation. I have questions now:

1) If he put his fingers in his mouth immediately after fingering me, what is his risk of catching HSV-1? Same with touching his own genitals immediately after fingering me.

2) I licked the shaft of his penis and put the head in my mouth a couple of times for about 30 seconds apiece. I have never had symptoms of or a diagnosis of oral HSV-1. Therefore I assume I don't have it orally. Did I inadvertently put him at risk in some way because I had such minor contact in this way?


3) was I wrong to allow these things to happen without first advising him of my genital hsv-1 status? My thought at the time was that I was engaging in 100% safe contact based on this site and the Westwood pamphlet, which I understood to say that transmission was possible only through direct contact of infected mucus membrane to mucus membrane. That is why I did not divulge my status. I have every intention of sharing my status if the situation is even a 1% chance that he is at risk from our activities.

4) Again, I thought I was keeping him safe by avoiding genital/genital contact, as well as not letting him go down on me. I also was making the executive decision (based on comparison with the initial 0-b, as well as my gut feeling) that the tiny pimple was just a tiny pimple and not a herpes sore. I am sick to think that I was not judicious, well-informed, ethical, or safe. At the same time I want to be entitled to my own privacy as long as I am not hurting or putting anyone else at risk. I thought I was doing right by him. What do you think?

4) I am wondering if I should tell him proactively instead of waiting to see what happens. This is because I want him to be able to a) get treatment instead of ignoring symptoms (should they arise), and/or b) become aware if he is potentially affected, for his own well being as well as protection of others in his future. If he gets something from me based on what has already happened, I feel responsible to advise him of what the associated risks are. Are the risks of what we did significant enough that I am ethically bound to discuss my HSV-1 status?


I feel so bad right now. I was not ever trying to ignore the facts. This is the first person I have been with since my initial diagnosis and it is so emotionally and mentally overwhelming to establish the facts and feelings on what I am responsible for to other people, as well as myself. I thought I was being safe based on the westwood pamphlet and this forum. Was I? Thank you so very much.


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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 12:09 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
None of this was a real risk to this person. I wouldn't spend any further time worrying. remember, you are not a walking biohazard just because you have genital herpes!

if the bump in the genital area doesn't go away in a few more days, go and be seen to find out what is going on.

betsy

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PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2012 5:18 pm 

Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 9:21 pm
Posts: 4
Location: United States
Thanks, I will get it checked if it doesn't go away.

If it is something else like molluscum or hpv-related, was it risky behavior to allow someone to touch me with their hand in that area? I just don't want someone to get something on their hand from me, then touch their own body, if there is a significant risk. What do you think?


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PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2012 1:18 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
mutual masturbation isn't considered a std risk.

betsy

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 8:23 pm 

Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:04 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Ontario
betsyb1967 wrote:
you are not a walking biohazard just because you have genital herpes!



I think it's safe to say that most people here feel like they are a walking biohazard. I know I do. Why is it that there is still such a social stigma to HSV and people who have it, especially since it's apparently so common? Why is it more acceptable for people to have oral HSV1 than genital HSV1 even though they are the exact same thing?

One day I hope to not have to hide behind my HSV.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 9:04 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
why are you hiding?

betsy

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