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National Cervical Cancer Coalition


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 2:38 pm 

Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:22 am
Posts: 12
Location: NEW ENGLAND
:? Will there ever be someone who will understand and not be afraid of HSV1 to date me? Where are they? Who are they? How do I find them?

What are the odds on this? After being rejected, again, by someone who is religious and mature...who out there IS ok with it? It is hard for me to hear that "THey would stick by their woman no matter what" but at the same time blow me off from the start. What if I'm not good at persuading people? How can someone who says they would be so dedicated and commited to a person..blow off someone who is perfect in every way except for the herpes...say that they would be there for someone in sickness and health..if they met the right person...doesn't make sense to me!!!! :cry:

I am attractive, young, and afraid of people and their stigma. Confused.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 4:58 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
If you end up alone for the rest of your life it won't be because of herpes. Even though you haven't had the best of luck with it all so far - it's really not the deal breaker you are thinking it is. Most of it is ignorance of the prevelance of the virus both orally and genitally and fear due to lack of education ( unfortunately we are always taught - avoid std's at all costs - no one ever takes the time to teach us how to live with one in our lives - either in ourselves or a partner ). To me if someone isn't willing to listen to what I have to say and do some reading on their own for something as common as herpes - then they aren't someone I want in my life for the long run.

So yeah this one didn't work out - us gals have to kiss a heck of a lot of frogs most times until we find our handsome prince - and that has NOTHING to do with herpes even!! Dating is hard in general - don't let your experience so far with it get you down. There are many men who will think little of your herpes - they'll notice your hair, your mind, your compassion, your sense of humor and ok so even your body and say herpes schmerpes and won't think too much about it other than sometimes you'll have to say not tonight honey and not just because you are mad at them. Really - it happens more than it doesn't :)

betsy


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 Post subject: need advice, moving on
PostPosted: Thu May 03, 2007 8:56 pm 

Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:22 am
Posts: 12
Location: NEW ENGLAND
:lol: I was just wondering what exactly my odds are of meeting someone who doesn't mind? Are any of the popular dating sites ok to meet
someone? Does anyone recommend a site worth glancing at ?

I 've been rejected twice so I'm not really feelin the luv. I can't get over this one guy and it kills me to know we'd be together if I didn't have H.
I am trying to tell myself if it wasn't this it would be something else down the line. I remember when I started dating again, got some courage to believe in myself. I said to myself "anyone who is afraid of me because of H doesn't deserve me, and I'll just be weeding out all the jerks sooner" It seems harder to believe those words when the person I met was so great. Eventually I'll get over it...

Betsy, how did you meet your beau?
Advice? :roll:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 8:16 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
In 20 years of having hsv2 - I've only ever had 1 fellow decide the risk was too much. It really hasn't been an issue for me. I'm currently not involved with anyone ( do you hear that fellows!!! ) and am starting to inch my way back into dating ( classic country song - dumped him because he preferred football and beer over me but it took me awhile to give up hope :roll: ). I had met the fellar thru match.com. He was hsv2- and my herpes wasn't much of an issue for him. I recently tried one of the herpes dating sites but no one my age who lived near me was on it. I find that living in a small town I do better on the regular dating sites.

A past poll over on the herpes homepage showed that 3 out of 4 folks were accepting about someone's herpes when they told them about it. It's really not the deal breaker it appears to be for the most part. You just had a string of bad luck that's all- 3rd time's the charm right :)

betsy


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2007 7:30 pm 

Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:22 am
Posts: 12
Location: NEW ENGLAND
Thanks for the awesome input AGAIN. I believe you and feel better. :lol:

Hey, I think I dated the same guy football and beer over me...funny.
I've been doing Match also. I also found that the H website had lots of people far away. It was interesting that you found that true also.
:roll:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2007 6:03 am 

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:31 pm
Posts: 74
Location: Nebraska
:arrow: Here's our herpes telling story

Hope this is helpful to you ...

Angela :wink:

_________________
:arrow: Herpes Help


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2007 5:31 pm 

Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:22 am
Posts: 12
Location: NEW ENGLAND
HI Angela. You have a great link. Its a great story.

I still feel a lot of discontentment about telling this guy after our 3rd date. He is such a great guy and I am devastated that he can't find a way to understand or educate himself. He said he will worry about it all the time. I felt a really strong connection with him and being the very religious person that he is, I assumed he would see things another way.

I felt like if I didn't tell him sooner then later, I would be leading on. I am afraid I made a mistake that I will regret and wonder about what if for a long time. I haven't met anyone like him in awhile. Do you think I should've done things differenlty, like waited to tell him?? I think about how if I waited I could've had spent more time with him.

grace.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2007 12:33 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
Chances are good that it would've turned out the same way anyways - just you would've been even more hurt since you had spent more time with him.

there's no right amount of time to wait - some folks tell before the official first date while others wait months. Most folks talk about it somewhere in between.

He's had a chance to learn more and he hasn't changed his mind. I hate to say it honey but as the book goes - he's just not that into you. It's time to finish mourning the loss of this man and go spend your time and energy looking for someone who realizes how common herpes is and how little of an issue it needs to be in a relationship.

betsy


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