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 Post subject: New Partner
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2007 3:18 pm 

Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 3:08 pm
Posts: 4
Ok. i am new to herpes, i found out about three months ago. It wasnt a big issue, because I was in a long term relationship at the time, which he felt like after i was diagnosed there was no point in him getting tested, since he believed he already had it. Well now we have broke up and I am really interested in sleeping with this guy that I have had a crush on since Jr. High. We have been talking, and spent two nights together, but only kissed and touched. My questions are: How should I tell him, is on the phone appropriate, when is appropriate, and is it contractable through sweat?? Or kissing, or oral sex?? I have type two. I am so afraid of being rejected, that I have considered not even talking to him anymore. I also think that he has had alot of partners in the past, so maybe he has it too. I am also suspicious that my ex had it already and did not tell me,, because he doesnt want to get tested, and also because when I told him I have hpv, he said he had it too, and I am pretty sure he wasnt going to inform me!!! I am becoming depressed because the guy I really like is coming in from offshore next week, and I am scared to death to tell him. I almost want to tell him online, so I wont see his face. I am hurting over this, because I like him so much. Please help!!!

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 7:40 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
Be sure to read the anchored post "now I am gun shy" at the top of this forum - it has terrific suggestions in it for how to talk about your herpes with someone. Also the info on asha's regular site and the herpes handbook ( ) both offer terrific suggestions too.

Encourage your new partner to get himself a type specific herpes igg blood test along with other std testing too before you two are intimate. Why take the blame for giving him herpes if he had it all along and never knew it?

It's never easy and it's not a darn bit romantic to talk about your herpes infection with a new partner but if we were all doing it instead of rushing right into bed with someone - there'd be a heck of a lot less posts here on this board. I'm just very open and matter of fact about it all when I talk about it and I also talk about condoms and birth control too. All are important things to talk about. Also talk about what you are willing to do to lower his risk if he's hsv2 negative - condoms and daily suppressive therapy will make him very unlikely to contract hsv2 from you.

Good luck :)


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