I am 53 a woman and have been married faithfully for 35 years. I have not been anyone else but my husband for 36 years. I was recently diagnoised with genital herpes and I am lost and ashamed and angry. My husband is telling me he has never been with another person since we got together 36 years ago. He says in the 60 and 70's he was very sexually active and says this virus must have laid dormant for 36 years. I have heard rumors throughout the years especailly early in our marriage about other women and he travels a lot he was just recently in Cleveland Oh for weeks and it was after this I had my first breakout began on my 35 th wedding anniversary . Does anyone know of this virus laying dormant for 36 years? I keep calling my Dr she is just worried about causing problems in my marriage. I have been very calm but I can't stop asking this question because it is very important to me.

Hello calfgurl,

Thanks for your post and I'm sorry this has been so difficult. There is usually no way to tell how long one may have had herpes prior to diagnosis, especially if the symptoms of the first outbreak are relatively mild (as they are in most cases). One may have the virus for years (even decades) before anything surfaces. Most individuals go a lifetime completely unaware they have the virus.

So, the fact that herpes shows up in a long-term relationship doesn't help answer questions about fidelity, but it's natural and understandable to ask them.

I'm sorry there isn't a better answer for you. Take a look at some of the posts on the herpes board to see if there is more insight for you there.

Take care and post anytime,
Fredo

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