See this link: http://www.ashastd.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=1601
. It is a great string on telling partners. majormajor who posted the initial question is in a similiar situation to you. I hope this is helpful.
Have you considered compiling a quick reference fact sheet for your future partners, and urging them to research it on their own? A nice starting point could be referring to the media storm about Gardasil vaccinations for young girls. For example, "I really wish I had that option when I was 11 because HPV can strike anyone, even when you have only had one sexual partner - that is what happened to me."
When people realize that anywhere from 75-90% of sexually active adults will come in contact with the HPV virus in their lifetime, and anywhere from 1-4% of sexually active adults have genital warts at any one time (which may be underreported as these self-clear, people may not realize what they are, and it is not a reportable STD), it may dawn on them that they are going to encounter this virus at one point or another. In addition, you could suggest that they research the Gardasil vaccine, and if they are comfortable with it, get it before you are sexually active. The vaccine can cost up to $450 for the 3 shots, but it would be beneficial for your partners not only if they have sex with you but if they are having sex at all. It would be an off-label prescription for men, but some doctors will prescribe it. Clinical trials are underway to assess its effectiveness in men, but certain articles (April 07 in American Vogue) discuss prescribing it for men now.
You are NOT dirty. I am 36, was sexually active for 11 years, abstinent for 6 years and as soon as I became sexually active again 9 months ago, went on the pill, and stopped using condoms - bam, I have HPV. When I told two members of my family who were in long term monogamous MARRIED relationships, and urged them to get HPV testing, they BOTH had already had bouts with HPV, never told me, plus they knew many other people who had had it - smart, university educated people who knew to be tested for STI/STD, but who never knew much about HPV or genital warts because there really has not been a dialogue about HPV in society. Basically, if you are sexually active, you will be exposed to this virus at some point in your life. Our mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins all probably have had this infection - not to mention all the men in our lives.
I know the rejection is hard and it is extremely difficult to tell people about this infection. I am sorry that you have to go through this. I do hope that it gets easier for you as you get older, and I think it might, because as people get older, statistically the chances they have already come in contact with this virus (or another STI/STD) are higher - and they would then likely be more understanding.
Good luck, Saray and don't lose hope.