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National Cervical Cancer Coalition


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How many outbreaks have you had with Genital HSV1?
More than 3 my first year  50%  [ 3 ]
1-2 my first year  0%  [ 0 ]
Zero my first year  50%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 6
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:57 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
Having herpes in one body part, gives you significant protection from contracting it on another body part later on. You can contract it both places when initially infected or within a few days of each other.

I really suggest you talk to a professional at this point. Trying to deal with this on your own just doesn't seem to be working does it?

betsy

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 9:27 pm 

Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:23 pm
Posts: 48
Hi Betsy
I'm back! So I went to a counselor and things didn't go so well. She ended up being a nut job and I hate to confide in someone else... Again. I've been trying to deal with this on my own And doing pretty well. Getting up to
see sunrises, going out with friends, hanging with my family- all mostly with the realization that I'll be single forever. Which I suppose is ok. I thankfully have not had another outbreak since the first a year and a half ago.

I met someone recently online. Seems to be the safest way to have an "imaginary" boyfriend:) well he lives a few hours from me, we hit it off and the sleep over parties have begun. I'm sure he wonders why I sleep in swear pants! Oh my. I know I need to tell him soon and I'm petrified. Especially since we live in different cities, I'm not sure how when to tell him. And what facts I should mention. I feel like I'm leading him on and selfishly I don't want this to end and I want to make sure i trust and like him enough to tell him. Please help me. I've been reading these things over and over. What worked best for you?


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:17 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
When it was a long distance relationship, I usually had my "talk" on the phone or via im's. Do what works best for you. If the way to talk about all of this is thru email, then do so. Not everytime can it be face to face when you don't get many chances to see each other. Definitely it's time to talk about it though if you are having slumber parties! Just be open and honest with him. Talk about all std's too - not just what you know you have.

keep us updated!!

betsy

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:50 pm 

Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:37 pm
Posts: 144
fearful,

i'm sorry you are going through this! talking to someone does help.

I do have a random question. how long after infection did you blood test positive?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 9:26 am 

Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:23 pm
Posts: 48
Thankyou Betsy,
He's been away on a ski trip with his friends so I'm waiting til he gets back to tell him. I feel like I'm almost starting to pull away. I'm so scared. I'd almost rather be single than have to tell him. This one is a keeper though so it would probably better to risk it than to never know.

I believe I had the blood test done somewhere between 30-60 days after contracting the virus. It came up positive for hsv1 only. And I did see his results also which were hsv1 positive also. Maybe I should get tested again? Why do you ask?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 12:34 pm 

Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:37 pm
Posts: 144
fearful,

does your boy have hsv 1 as well? if so then he can't get it from you so it's nothing to worry about!

no, not saying you should test again at all! just wondering. i tested pos for hsv 1 after 30 days and was wondering if I needed to test again :-) i think we are both fine.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:36 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
fearful - oh don't pull away because you are too afraid to talk about your herpes!!! Just do it when he comes back and get it over with so that you can stop worrying about it and the relationship can continue to grow :)

betsy

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:19 am 

Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:23 pm
Posts: 48
Thankyou both,
Betsy, do you agree with what she says? My ex did have HSV1 on his mouth for years, yet I was still able to give it to him genitally. That's what I don't get. I thought he would already would have protection from getting it in another location but I feel like I've proved that theory false?! I couldn't live with myself telling this new guy those facts knowing I most likely gave it to my ex.

I have no idea if the new guy gets cold sores. I do need to talk to him. I'm starting not to eat and sleep very well. Just got out of gyno and he tells me to get back on valtex to make sure I don't spread it. I just broke down again. Betsy, I'm sorry I'm such a wimp. I mentioned the odds of 1 in 4 women having this and he was like "no way, more like 1 in 15 or 20. Makes me feel worse! I sooooo wish I could press rewind and erase my ex. They say everything happens for a reason. I'm still having a hard time believing that. Ugh.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 12:32 pm 

Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:37 pm
Posts: 144
Bestsy? My bf has ohsv 1 as well. I thought we were safe.

fearful,

I feel the same way you do. This has been really hard for me to swallow as well. Mostly because I feel like I'm in constant pain. Do you have frequent ob's? Tingles? Pain?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 7:05 pm 

Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:23 pm
Posts: 48
No, I don't believe I've had any symptoms after the initial outbreak a year and a half ago. Thank goodness. They say it would most likely be milder than the first but I haven't experienced anything like that since the first outbreak.....but I also haven't done much of anything down there since either! Born again virgen at 33! I'm sorry you are still feeling weird down there. How long has it been? Your boyfriend accepted you when you told him? Aaaah. Now I'm going out of town. Relationships are hard enough, with this on top of it? Geez. If I find someone to accept me I will never do anything to jepordize it.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 7:12 pm 

Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:37 pm
Posts: 144
fearful, the good thing about hsv 1 is that 80% of the population has it. and, most of those people don't even know. so, the guy you are seeing may already have hsv 1. you should ask him if he gets cold sores, if he hasn't then he should get tested. my boyfriend already had hsv 1/cold sores so to him it wasn't a big deal. he cant' get what he already has!

you are lucky to haven't had any symptoms below. it seems mine are non-stop! you may never get another ob. i'd trade places with you any day!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 8:49 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
having hsv1 orally gives you significant but not 100% protection against contracting it again genitally. Most folks I know who think that it happened either found out that their partner really hadn't had hsv1 orally ( many folks mistake canker sores for oral herpes ) or many times shaving of the genital area is involved ( gives you open cuts in the skin for actively shedding herpes virus to get into easier ). It happens so infrequently though, typically just avoiding sex anytime you have genital symptoms is all it takes to protect a partner when one has hsv1 genitally and one has it orally.


Your gyn who told you 1 in 15-20 women have genital herpes is about 50 years behind in his knowledge about herpes. Odds are he isn't testing his patients either based on that lack of education on how common it is. Recommend that he/she do a little herpes CME soon!

Also we don't know if it's even worthwhile to take suppressive therapy for hsv1 genitally. It only sheds less than a dozen days total out of the year on average so taking medication every single day to help reduce that , wouldn't give you a lot of bang for your buck anyways. I recommend talking to your partner about it, not automatically thinking you need to be on suppressive therapy for hsv1.

betsy

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 7:18 pm 

Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:37 pm
Posts: 144
ok, now i am confused. i thought you couldn't reinfect yourself once you build anti-bodies (a few weeks) but sounds like it is possible? especially if you are saying that hsv 1 orally gives significant but not 100% protection to getting it genitally? i guess nothing is 100% :-)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 2:47 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
well we don't have stats on it but most folks guesstimate that it's around 97-98% protection. pretty high up there :)

betsy

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:34 pm 

Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:23 pm
Posts: 48
Well, that makes me feel a lot better! Maybe mine was a rare case because I continued having sex, even though it was very uncomfortable. If that ever happens again, I'll atleast know what it is and not do it! Still haven't spoken to him about it but I will certainly follow up with you after I do. I think I prefer to do it in person. Even if I have to drive there and back in one day to do it. Thanks for your help, Betsy.


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