My now girlfriend had sex almost a year ago with some random guy. She hates herself for the mistake, but was able to move on.

However, a few months ago she told me she thought she had HPV due to a bump on her crotch. She went in for testing at a basic clinic, and the doc blew her off, barely looking before saying it was a wart and she needed to see an STD clinic.

She'll be going soon, and she's freaking out. She's utterly hating herself and swearing she'll never have sex again, that she can't risk giving it to me. We've not been sexual at all yet, because its a very long distance relationship. We had planned to start trying soon, but with this, I worry that she's going to completely shut herself off.

I've done a lot of reading up on life and sex after a diagnosis. When she first brought it up, I directed her to all that, and she seemed to accept it. I've looked up more info now to give to her.

What can I do? Is there some way to help her through this, if she does come back positive? I don't care about sex, I just want her to stop hating herself for this and believing its all over.

Kudos to you for being so supportive of her. One thing to point out to her is that having HPV is very, very normal. Estimates are that 75-80% of sexually active people (that's not a typo) have, or have had, HPV in the genital infection. Most infections are harmless, they typically clear on their own eventually, and the majority of cases don't result in visible symptoms.

Make sure she knows you find her attractive and desirable, even if you're not having sex at present.

Key points:

This is normal. YOU are normal. HPV usually clears on its own (although the warts might be treated). Don't be shy about making her feel feminine and wanted.

Check in with us anytime!

Fredo

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ASHA Moderator

Well, a somewhat late update. She went in to get tested and came back clear, completely. Clean as a whistle, it was all in her head.

Thanks for the response.

Thanks for letting us know, and I'm glad things worked out.

Best,
Fredo

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ASHA Moderator