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National Cervical Cancer Coalition


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:27 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:42 pm
Posts: 8
Location: Canada
Hello,
I have had HSV for about 5 years. I had a very hard time making peace with this and to some extent still do. I have seen cousellors (but to be honest, many know nothing about this.) I am the type that can have many outbreaks so have been on suppressive therapy. I have often thought it would be nice to have someone experiencing the same issues to communicate with would be nice. This is my first attempt to connect to others. I am currently in a new relationship and have told my partner. He knows very little about this but has been good to me. I am trying to educate him and move on with this. I am also 47 and believe I am entering menopause and am wondering how this effects HSV2. I am determined to life a full productive loving life but find the Herpes rather overwhelming. I would enjoy some interaction with those are experiencing similar issues. Hopefully, we can help one another.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:12 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
Welcome to the board :)

Yes some of us do have more ob's than others. Thankfully we have suppressive therapy that keeps it down to a dull roar. Are your ob's well controlled on suppressive therapy?

As for menopause, sometimes it can be an issue as far as as our bodies stop producing as much estrogen, our vaginal skin thins and gets drier which sets us up for infections. Usually suppressive therapy helps with the herpes part but if you find yourself getting ob's more often, see your provider and make sure they properly test you for yeast and especially bacterial infections vaginally whether you have odor and/or discharge or not. bv has been shown to make herpes shed more often and 1/2 of all bv infections, don't present with obvious symptoms which is why proper testing is important.

It is hard to talk to a potential partner about your herpes. When I do it, I combine talking about std's and testing, condom use and birth control all in the same talk ( might as well get it all out of the way! ). I end it with talking about how I know I have hsv1 and hsv2, how I control them and what that means risk wise for my partner. For male partners, if you take daily suppressive therapy with valtrex, use condoms and avoid sex whenever you have genital symptoms, they are 99% likely each year on average NOT to contract hsv2 from you. Very reasonable odds with not a whole heck of a lot of effort.

Being from canada, getting tested for herpes isn't always easy but it can be done. Your potential partners might have to pay for it out of pocket but there are several labs in canada that do type specific herpes igg blood testing so that they can know their own status. You can't make educated decisions about precautions until they know what they have too.

keep asking questions!

betsy

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:35 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:42 pm
Posts: 8
Location: Canada
betsyb1967,
I do have trouble with outbreaks even though I am on suppressive therapy (valacyclovir 500mg x2 per day.) I just visited a compounding pharmacist and she recommended phosphorelated B Comlex. I hope this helps. I am not clear what bv is. The pharmacist was very positive about Herpes. After several years I am still trying to wrap my head around all this. Sometimes struggling to be honest. Thanks for the connection.
ibpositivelife


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:45 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
bv is bacterial vaginosis. it's a vaginal infection. about 1/2 of women who have it, don't get obvious odor and discharge to know it but it can trigger herpes to be more active as well as mimic herpes recurrences.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:10 am 

Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:42 pm
Posts: 8
Location: Canada
Do you ever really, really, worry (even with all the precautions) that you will infect your partner? This is on my mind alot. Have you had to deal with this?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 10:19 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
About the only time I think about it is if I get an ob the same day or next day after having sex. Then I worry a little and let my partner know but overall, I'd had over 20 years to know that precautions really do work.

betsy

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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 8:07 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:42 pm
Posts: 8
Location: Canada
Still struggling,
Psychologically I still find HSV2 provides alot of worry, stress, and upset. How do you deal with this? I have the book Managing: Living and Loving With HSV. I do not believe it has a chart about the percentage of risk my partner takes when I am on suppressive therapy, using condoms, and abstaining during any outbreaks. Can you provide me with one?


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PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 12:30 am 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com is a free online resource. it has the risk of transmission info in it too.

betsy

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:02 am 

Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:42 pm
Posts: 8
Location: Canada
Hello,
I am so full of questions. These are intimate ones and I need to ask generally how people are feeling out there. I am in a relatively new (7 months) relationship. My partner knows about my HSV2. He does not have HSV2. I am terribly concerned about giving this to him. Also we chat about the damper it puts on the degree we want to be intimate. Neither of us like the idea of using barrier for anything. He wants to taste me. We want very much to be intimate without the worry. I know this can not be and worry it will eventually ruin our relationship. So we worry about transmission, struggle to get our outbreaks under control, deal with disappointments about not being able to be intimate the way we want, and I worry about eventual rejection. When I had my first outbreak, the ramifications upset me so significantly. Then, I began to relax a little and tried to become very knowledgable about HSV2. I settled somewhat and now that I am in a new relationship I seem to very agitated about it all again. My partner asked if there was a vaccine for him so we could stop worrying about all this. I have done some reading about that but need your input. I have to say emtionally, and psychologically, this is a tough deal and wonder how other folks deal with those aspects. I know my doctor says that I will forget about it all when my outbreaks get under control. I don't know about that. These are my thoughts. Help me out by replying to my questions and adding your thoughts about all the issues I wrote about. Thankyou


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:11 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:47 am
Posts: 5443
Location: PA
If you are on daily suppressive therapy and avoid sex when you have any genital symptoms, he is 2% likely each year to get hsv2 from you. throw in condoms and it's a 1% yearly risk on average. To give you something to compare it to - the ideal use pregnancy rate on the bc pill is 1% and real use is closer to 8%. I think we can all agree that a baby is far more of an issue to deal with for a lifetime than herpes could ever be!

As for oral sex, totally up to the 2 of you whether it's protected or not. We don't have the same stats for oral as we do genital since oral hsv2 occurs so infrequently we can't study it as easy. You being on daily suppressive therapy means less chance of him being exposed to hsv2 orally in general.

As for myself, I use condoms in the beginning of a relationship but not all the time. I also don't utilize barrier protection when a partner performs oral on me. I'm quite comfortable with the low risk and also my partners have been too over the years. there isn't a single thing I haven't done sexually that I've wanted to do just because i have herpes.

betsy

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