So being a male diagnosed with HPV Type 16 has been absolutely devastating to me.
My previous relationship where I suspect I got it from, although there is no way to definitively prove it, is over and done...only to be left alone with this now.
How do you know you have HPV-16? Were you diagnosed with a DNA test, or how was the determination made? External genital warts are almost always linked with low-risk HPV types, but of course sometimes men do develop external lesions associated with a high-risk type such as HPV-16. Just curious how you specifically know you have type 16.
And no I did not know she had it before, and I'm relatively certain she is convinced she (still) doesn't have it.
I'm trying to keep perspective but the depression of my life, my relationship, and its remnants is literally tearing me apart. My whole life focus is on me, trying to eat better, exercise, stay healthy...but my mental and emotional state is an absolute wreck.
I've gotten treatment via removal of GW, and things are looking better but it doesn't change the fact that I'm always able to pass this on whether I have symptoms or not.
Two quick points: First, I'll repeat that genital warts are most often linked with low-risk HPV types. Second, it's not established that you would "always able to pass this on." Most cases of HPV are cleared naturally by the immune system, 90% of cases by 24 months (and many much sooner). This is not proof the virus can then not be transmitted, but many experts believe the risks of transmission diminish over time in someone who has had no recurrences. Bottom line is you may not always have HPV.
I feel like I'm in the worst HPV bucket possible...a male with the highest risk strain for cervical cancer in women.
There is no downplaying it, that is the reality of the strain...and expecting any woman to accept that risk is truly devastating.
Cervical cancer is certainly something about which women should be aware, but keep in mind that even with high-risk HPV types, cancer is a very rare outcome (and most often occurs in women who have either never had a Pap test, or have gone five or more years without one).
I won't ever be involved (sexually) with another woman without letting her know, and I have zero confidence any woman would ever just be OK with it unless she already has that exact strain and knows it...of which the chances are basically zero.
See comments above. Don't overstate the risk, and don't assume you're protecting a woman from high-risk HPV by not being with her (80% of sexually active people are estimated to have one or more HPV infections in their lifetimes). Even if you have it, you may not always be able to transmit and if you do, if she has regular Paps her risks for invasive cervical cancer are small. In fact, most women with high-risk HPV never have even a single abnormal Pap as a result and clear the virus without ever being aware!
I'm just struggling for some support here, I can't get my head around the situation and stay positive about it.
I feel like a certain reality of being utterly alone is setting in, and it's one of the last things I want in this world.
Acknowledge these feelings and thoughts, don't beat yourself up for having them, but also challenge them. Look at the facts: Is HPV common? Yes. Does it usually lead to detectable diseases and a nightmare scenario of cancer. Hardly, such outcomes are rare, rare, rare.
I've busted my ass my whole life to get to where I am, to get stable, in the hopes of settling down and having a family with the right woman.
I thought I had found her, trusted her for over 2 years, and it just didn't work out...and now I'm here.
I feel like my mind, my heart, and my life have been tossed into a blender.
Challenge your own thinking. Given the facts, is this reaction warranted?
How do you even take the first step in recovering from this and moving on with positive expectation with your life's future relationships?
I realize it's not the end of the world, ok, better, better but it's a mountain of a hurdle that now stands in the way of something I truly value in my future.
The rejection and abandonment of my last relationship is hard enough right now, HPV just makes it feel that much more insurmountable.
Challenge your disaster thinking. Is HPV a pain in the neck. Sure. Do you want it (does anyone)? Of course not. But do most of us have it? Yep. Will it likely persist forever or cause us harm? No.
Someone please give me some perspective here because I'm feeling pretty damn lost, and that too is a difficult place for me...I'm so strong minded and willed in life, but this has all taken it's toll and brought me to the lowest point in my life. I have to get out of this and move forward with my life, but just don't know *how* to do it at this point and be happy about it. I never thought I'd ever have to turn to another person for guidance in my life, but I'm at a point where I feel like I need it and don't have anywhere else to truly turn other than family and friends I don't even want to share this with.
Great that you found us, this is exactly why this board exists.
Oh yeah, great observation from Cansol97 that the HPV vaccines on the market are highly protective against HPV-16 infections! Keep that in mind as a prevention tool.
"There is no stress, only stressful thoughts."- author unknown, but clever!