tonight just sad!!!! very sad!
my dearest friend knows of my std's as her and I were talking about my exbf about him out there dating and not telling ...she said I would not go there, meaning if she knew he or any man had an std she would not go there since she has none, and that I am just going to have to face it that it will be hard for me to be accepted she didn't say it to hurt me, but she said, put yourself in someone else shoes who doesn't have an std. sigh! I do not need a man in my life, but I do not want to spend the remaining years alone...sorry for the vent, but needed to get these thoughts and feelings out. Just sad!

I hope tomorrow will be a better day

1 out of 3 people have a std. it's hard NOT to date someone with one whether you are aware that they have one or not. I've only been turned down 2x in 20+ years of having hsv2. Most of my friends haven't even been turned down at all. It's really not the issue your friend thinks it will be.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Thanks Betsy!
you always brighten my day with your responses...

***I've only been turned down 2x in 20+ years of having hsv2. Most of my friends haven't even been turned down at all. It's really not the issue your friend thinks it will be. ****

I am in my 50's does that make a difference with the 1 and 3 out there or is it more the younger generation that has the 1 and 3?


hope you have a great day!!!

In your age group 70% or more of folks have hsv1. 30% or more has hsv2. Very common for both.

betsy

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Hi Betsy
I am really having a hard time with both std's emotionally...I called the health department waiting to hear when I can get in for testing..ugh! I went and did some more reading, which I regret doing now, some have said that their hpv came back after many years I know I can not change anything now... I have two std's that will remain in my body, I am just having a hard time coping(anxiety, fear, worry) the unknown!! I didn't want to go back to obgyn for testing as it shows on my insurance(not sure if that is good or bad)

I feel so upset,disappointed, ashamed, embarrassed with myself for possibly rushing into a relationship so quickly, at my age I should have known better. I have set up an appointment with a counselor.

I am not sure why I am posting or what kind of response I am in search of...just trying to cope!

usually the hpv doesn't come back. studies show that when it's been over a year without a recurrence, if you do get more warts, they tend to be a new type that you contracted from a partner. It can come back but it doesn't typically do so.

totally up to you how you handle all of this. It's always been easy for me because I see every single day people who would kill to have herpes or warts be their only medical problem. Heck my herpes isn't even my most annoying medical problem! Just helps me keep it in perspective. Also my herpes can't hold a candle to some of the people I've dated over the years. Can't take a pill or two a day to control so many problems people have - smoking, gambling, drinking, bigotry, psychological issues etc. we have it easy controlling our herpes

betsy

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***Just helps me keep it in perspective. Also my herpes can't hold a candle to some of the people I've dated over the years. Can't take a pill or two a day to control so many problems people have - smoking, gambling, drinking, bigotry, psychological issues etc. we have it easy controlling our herpes ****

LOL oh my gosh Betsy that is so true and funny to boot!!!!

I go see my doctor tomorrow, counselor Thursday and have an appointment for full std testing mid Dec. through the health department...I will be okay when all test come back A O K!

thanks again Betsy!!!!!!!!!!
have a great day!!

Hi Betsy

I just looked at my dosage of valtrex...is this enough dosage?

valacyclovier HCL 1 gram tabsan
for valtrex 1 GM caplet gsk

I have noticed most on are 200mg, 500mg etc

what is 1 gram mean?

valtrex is 500mg once a day if you have less than 9 ob's a year. for folks with more than 9 ob's a year, the 1gm daily dose is needed. some providers just automatically prescribe the 1gm daily dose to their newly infected patients.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Thank you Betsy

gosh, okay....so when do I or when should I ask them about going on the 500mg? so many questions ...so much to learn

totally up to you. you can stay on the 1gm daily if you want or if you don't have ob's hardly at all on it and want to change to 500mg at some point, that's ok too.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Hi Betsy,

I was diagnosed with H2 by swab years ago. But I am hearing different information that I may not have it since I don't go through pain or don't have those sores the way it suppose to look. Actually, a cold sore on my mouth looks worse. Very confused about it. Some people say to get the blood test done which is more accurate. What do you think of this?

Also, how do you do "the talk" to a potential partner? In Dr. Ruth's Guide to talk about Herpes, she suggests it is better to tell someone very soon. I am confused also when to tell someone. For example, I have known this man for years in my gym. We have worked out together. But just recently say in the last year or so, I notice he wants to get to know me more. Very nice to me. He wants to be with me on New Years Eve. We are going out to a social dance. He said to me, if you want to share anything with me, I have listening ear. All of a sudden, I am thinking, "oh, yeh", um. How would he feel about me if I shared this Herpe with him. But I haven't shared this. I don't know how the relationship is going to develop but it is going the right way where he seems genuine toward me and shows care. Any suggestions, when the talk should take place? or not.

Thanks,

Anita

Hi,

I was reading what your friend has told you. I think based on my experience with people in terms of sharing, you will know best when you want to or not. I believe I have developed an internal attenna about this virus, and in the selection process of a mate. In Dr. Ruth's guide on how to talk about herpes, she says there is a silver lining which means an instinct kicks in and will help you weed out the ones that are not respectful of you. You will know when someone comes along and will accept you with all quirks. It is just knowing how to get there.

I have known this man in my gym class for years, and in the last year or so, he has been showing more concern for me and in wanting to get to know me. Very unexpected though. But it seems he is interested in me and always goes out of his way about apologizing to me about anything. He wants to spend time with me this New Years Eve which I didn't expect he would. Anyway this time with him will help me see him in a different light. He said to me, if you want to share anything with me, I have a listening ear. All of a sudden this herpes triggered something in me, what if he knows about this, what will he do. But this type of thinking is a wasted emotion for me and draining. Not worth worrying about because I will upset myself (trigger). Anyway, I am going to enjoy this friendship and see what happens.

Hope this is of help about the silver lining.

Anita

no reason to doubt a + lesion culture for hsv2. the only way it's a false positive is through clerical error.

I haven't read Dr Ruth's book but from what I've heard others say about it, it's not one I'd recommend Sounds like she adds to the stigma of herpes instead of helping folks with herpes stop believing there is one. was really surprised when it came out and folks posted about it online.

anyways - unless you are going to have sex with this fellow on new years , no reason to talk about your herpes yet. have you had previous dates yet? is it moving past the friendly stage and more towards the romantic stage yet?

when you do have the "talk", remember it's a discussion and not a confession. Knowing his status , std history and testing is just as important as talking about your herpes!

betsy

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Hi Betsy,

No, I haven't had previous dates with him. This is the first one. I don't have any intentions of sex yet. But curious to see how it will go with him and to see what kind of guy he is in a social setting outside the gym. He is giving me the impression that he may be interested in me but I am still not sure yet. He is nice to me though. I know in the book from Dr. Ruth, she says it is better to tell someone soon not wait too long. But I have doubts about that because it takes time to know someone. After 3 dates, I think is too soon unless I am looking for this.

Any suggestions, in how I can check out how sincere he is and how he can keep secrets by what I share with him?

Thanks,

Anita